Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara

Directed by: Zoya Akhtar

Starring: Hrithik Roshan, Farhan Akhtar, Abhay Deol, Katrina Kaif, Kalki Koechlin

Released: 2011

Even among the not that impressive pieces Bollywood managed to churn out this year (which I overally rate as very poor) it is possible to find several pearls and Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara is definitely one of them. It was largely compared to Dil Chahta Hai, but even though it will probably not gain such a cult status, it has made a great impact on the audience and I even dare say it is in many aspects better. One of the greatest plus points for me was a truly equal importance of the three main characters and that they had an equal amount of screentime (whil in DCH it was mostly Aamir with two other heroes criminally sidelined, but more about that in DCH review which is eventually coming as well...).

The story starts with one rather awkward misunderstading. Kabir (Abhay) shows his girlfriend Natasha (Kalki) a ring he bought, which immediately leads her to accept what she considers a marriage proposal – only to find out seconds later he had bought the ring for his mother. However not wanting to embarrass himself or Natasha in public (because it kinda all happened on a birthday party) he actually does propose. And as soon as excited Natasha starts planning her perfect wedding, Kabir is going for a three-week long bachelor trip through Spain with his old friends Imraan (Farhan) and Arjun (Hrithik), as they had promised to each other years ago. The catch of the trip is that each of them is supposed to secretly choose an adventure sport and all three have to go through it no matter what (MEN! Or maybe more like.... BWOYS!).

Bwoys chale Spain.

However old rishtas are not as perfect as they used to be – especially the bond between Arjun and Imraan has apparently suffered. And as it turns out, none of them is going to Spain just to enjoy a trip. Arjun is trying to run away from being emotionally hurt by his ex-girlfriend getting married, Imraan is searching for his biological father and Kabir himself may not be actually be that happy about the prospect of getting married soon... All that is what probably makes them even more adamant when it comes to the adventure sports they have chosen – from scuba-diving to an annual Spanish custom of running with the bulls. All the sports can go terribly wrong. But maybe facing the death with and realizing that you don´t live twice is what the whole trip is about...

Or maybe it all is about an unforgivable waste of food.

Slow (at the verge of boring) at times, rapid at moments, even in its pace, the film is relying on the script more than anything else. Sure, the big star and glamor factor is included in the form of Hrithik and Katrina Kaif, but eventually their screentime is no longer than that of the rest of the actors (in the case of Katrina it´s actually very limited) as I have mentioned at the very beginning. It does use the gorgeous Spanish scenery, but somehow you feel it´s not about visual amazement, more like about what all that visual beauty evokes in you. And the same case is with music, which frames everything nicely. Basically everything deserves a praise from an un-fearing direction to delightufully fine performances. It was refreshing to see someone as impressive but underrated as Farhan doing such a fabulous job as Imraan, looking for his biological father without really knowing what to expect and being ultimately disappointed by what he finds (even though considering he finds the very much amazing Naseeruddin Shah it´s almost criminal to say it like that). It was fun to see Abhay Deol in a rather fun role for a change and it was definitely a treat to watch Hrithik morphing from an arrogant and self-centered businessman into an emotional human being (but not as emotional as to be called over the top or unbelievable).

Moshi moshi!

Katrina Kaif, for the first time in her life, managed not to make me fall asleep, and actually did a good job. One can always argue the role she had was not challenging (it definitely was not as it apparently reflected Katrina´s own personality a lot and did not go through any development), but she did well with whatever she was given. If there was something I did not like about her it was her lisping. I usually cannot hear her bad Hindi pronunciation (being a non-Hindi speaker myself), but she lisps even in English, most of the time her „r“ comes out as „w“. Kalki Koechlin is a delight. She is a far cry from the typical Bollywood beauties, but her earthy and real attitude combined with natural charm makes her truly endearing even if her character is not. And of course, who can forget about Bagwati... wah! Kya acting hai! Plus I´m sure it was Bagwati who made the greatest impact of the whole cast, setting a trend by herself.

The best debutant of 2011.

The movie does not really have a Bollywood or even Indian feel to it, in spite of several songs (and one perfectly performed by the actors themselves) and Farhan´s own beautiful and soulful poetry included. I don´t really think it is a pity, because it works as it is, but should anyone ask, this is definitely not what possible newcomers should expect from Bollywood. We are given some interesting points to think about as well as some excellent one liners and memorable quotes. It all flows beautifully, makes you feel beautifully and maybe you might even learn something about yourself. It gives laughs and gives tears. Just like life that you don´t live twice.

Chikni Chameli thoughts

Second by second Chikni Chameli has made its way to the public. An item number meant to spice up the upcoming Karan Johar´s production Agneepath, it is going to fully rock the screens early next year. After Sheila and Munni in 2010, that both enjoyed huge popularity, 2011 seems almost bare without it sown iconic item number. Sure, there were at least three attempts – Deepika in Dum Maro Dum remake, Yana Gupta gyrating her hips and looking rather sickly in Challo Dilli and I think I´ve heard something about „Shallu“ - but have not seen the song or the film... The fact remains 2011 was rather uneventful for Bollywood in general, and considering it´s BOLLYWOOD I actually did miss dancing in films.

I never would have though I would be thanking Katrina Kaif for reminding us that dancing is actually an essential, and one of the best parts of Indian cinema. Her Sheila was a well-shot video, but there was not much of an actual dancing. However promo of Chikni Chameli promises to be better. It leaves behind the Sheila image and actually is channeling Munni! The rustic look, play of colours (Katrina in bright shades of yellow and red while everything else is brown), chest and torso thrusting back and forth.... The choreographer is Ganesh Acharya, out of whose work so far I´ve only liked one song – Badi Mushkil from Lajja – and that was no doubt because of the dancer more then the choreography itself.... Chikni Chameli has some moves that looks plain weird at first, but after few rewatches become to seem rather cool – and probably a signature movements as well.

Katrina has apparently worked really hard. She may still be a below average actress, but she is a fairly good dancer, definitely one of the better ones in Bollywood of today. She looks beautiful in the song and what gets her few more points is the fact she also improved her expressions. The quick editing and change of camera angles also ads to her efforts. Another pleasant point – though Katrina is presented in a very sexy way, one does not get the slightly awkward feel Sheila Ki Jawani caused. Chikni Chameli is a bit naughty, but I don´t think it´s degrading women in a way Sheila did. True, Chameli is apparently lighting up cigarets with her hotness, but it´s nowhere near the drooling sleazy director in Sheila.....

What puzzles me however, are statements like „Katrina dances like no other actress ever has“, uttered by people like Riteish Deshmunk and others. Makes me wonder if they have ever watched any Vyjayanthimala film. Or Madhuri. Or Sridevi. Or Meenakshi Sheshadri. Or Hema Malini. Or even Aishwarya and Rani. Katrina is no way on their level of dancing and I can only forgive comments like that thinking it´s the excitement over something new (and for a long time un-seen).

So welcome Chikni Chameli. Hopefully you´ll again remind filmmakers that dancing is not uncool.

UPDATE aka how I was forced to change my mind. Read about it in my film review: http://bollywood-ish.blogspot.com/2012/04/agneepath.html

Films I did not bother to finish

New York

Directed by: Kabir Khan

Starring: John Abraham, Katrina Kaif, Neil Mukesh, Irfaan Khan

Released: 2009

How much I could take: 48 minutes 17 seconds

New York the city is full of life, dangerous, fascinating, thrilling and engaging. New York the 2009 Hindi film is a total snooze-fest. What was it about? I´m not sure. I remember some police raid, Irfaan being a bad cop during some interrogation that lead to flashback to fluffy college memories full of parties and playing rugby, Katrina having atrocious red sections in her hair and then there was some attempt for a little romance..... Yeah – and then the tragic events from 9/11 are shown, but by that time my mind was so completely turned into a jelly I did not really get what it had to do with anything..... Performances do not save the day – on the contrary! John and Katrina combo sends „New York“ to the deepest hell, Irfaan lacks his usual grip and Neil Mukesh disappears from your mind the moment he lefts the screen frame. This film might be ideal for putting your kids to sleep, but at the same time it might have seriously bad effect on their mental health. It sure disturbed mine.

Tees Maar Khan

Directed by: Farah Khan

Starring: Akshay Kumar, Katrina Kaif, Akshaye Khanna

Released: 2010

How much I could take: 36 minutes 14 seconds

Possibly the crappiest film of the whole 2010. There may be even worse ones, but they were not as half as hyped and talked about hence the disappointment and shock over the sheer stupidity was not THAT striking. After I was disgusted by the opening titles where some freaky dancing (and yet unborn) baby indulges in some serious adultery, I was offered a truly mindless and cheap humour which had me asking my own intelligence. I was never smitten by Akshay Kumar as an actor, but I always found him at least watchable, but here he annoyed me like hell from the first second. And when the groovy Sheila Ki Jawani (the ONLY good part of the film) ended and I was presented with Katrina Kaif whom my washing machine could give a lesson or two about natural acting my patience and good will waved bye bye and went to sunbath to Italy. The reviews were promising some hope in the form of my dear Akshaye Khanna, but all the idiocy going on completely killed any desire to wait for his appearance. Watch only if your IQ equals to the one of a wooden rocking horse or you´re on drugs.

Dil Toh Bachcha Hai Ji

Directed by: Madhur Bhandarkar

Starring: Ajay Devgn, Emraan Hashmi, Omi Vaidya

Released: 2011

How long I could take: 1 hour 34 minutes 36 seconds

What a MEH movie. It isn´t really anything - not a romance, not drama, not comedy.... in fact it is really just MEH..... It was supposed to belong to all the characters, but in the end it belonged to nobody. All the characters are very shallow and you don´t care one bit for any of them. I was waiting for some relationship development between the three guys, but there is none. They simply get introduced and are best friends the next second. The women they are chasing are meh. The music is meh. The jokes are non-existent. It terribly drags and you get the feeling you are still at the beginning, because nothing is really going on. It´s like three stories put together, but having absolutely nothing in common. Ajay and Emraan are totally wasted, even though Ajay again proves his versatility and Emraan his great charisma. Meh film. Not really worth it.

Raajneeti

Directed by: Prakash Jha

Starring: Ranbir Kapoor, Ajay Devgn, Nana Patekar, Arjun Rampal

Released: 2010

How long I could take: 49 minutes 3 seconds

Raajneeti is a probably a good film and it only appears here because I did not understand it. Not one bit. I´m completely untouched by my country´s politics, and to venture into the Indian one is not my idea of fun. I had the best intentions and was even willing to suffer Katrina Kaif on screen, because I LOVE Nana Patekar, really like Ranbir Kapoor and Ajay Devgan and do not mind Arjun Rampal. But the great actors were, sadly for me, involved in scheming plots and occupied by affairs that I had a very difficult time understanding or even remembering them all. I was not bored by this one, not at all. I was lost, completely lost like a puppy in the jungles of Amazon. And so I did not finish it, even though it probably is, as I have already mentioned, a good film.

Munni or Sheila?

If we look back to the year 2010, this time from musical point of view, the two most talked about songs were Munni Badnaam Hui and Sheila Ki Jawani. Both were the so-called item numbers.

"Munni" was sung by Mamta Sharma and it was featured in the super hit film Dabangg (starring Salman Khan as a main lead). Picturized on Salman´s bhabhi, popular item girl Malaika Arora Khan, the song was choreographed by none other then Farah Khan. Incidentally the same person also choreoraphed the second song - Sheila Ki Jawani, for her own film Tees Maar Khan. "Sheila", very, very much pre-hyped (and boasting of being the "new Ek Do Teen"), presented us acting-wise useless but looking-wise hot Katrina Kaif, the singer was Sunidhi Chauha. Both the songs are catchy, both are sexy. However should I choose only one, I´ll go with Munni. Why? Reason 1. - Malaika is better dancer then Katrina. Reason 2. - There is actually more dancing involved in Munni. Reason 3. - I will always prefer desi mood to western-influeced one in Indian films. Reason 4. - In Munni Salman does some unforgettable and hilarious moves in contrast to wooden Akshay Kumar in Sheila. Reason 5. - Dabang was so much better then Tees Maar Khan.

What about you? Do you want to see Munni go badnaam, or would you rather drool over Sheila´s jawani?

Katrina going to be more friendly with Ranbir

Ranbir and katrina seems to got closer and it seems that April coming would be a month of academics for Ranbir Kapoor and katrina Kaif. This 'Ajab Prem ki Gajab Kahani' couple is planned to be taken on a tour across the country by Prakash Jha. He just wants them to address students at hand-picked campuses on issues such as politics and cinema.

Says Prakash, “We've chosen eight cities and as many colleges. Yes, Ranbir and Katrina would be part of debates on politics and the youth as part of the whole endeavor to take Raajneeti beyond the portals of entertainment. Today's political icon is no longer a 70-something veteran politician. It's Rahul Gandhi and my stars will be addressing generations who understand the language of Rahul's politics.”

But the 8 cities, colleges with the dates on which this hit jodi will be on tour and will stay is kept a secret to avoid security hazards. However it is clear that Ranbir-Katrina 8-city campus tours will be spread out across April and part of May. Ranbir and Katrina will be spending a lot of time together promoting Raajneeti in the coming months. The whole of April will be spent doing the campus interactions. From May 30 to June 6 Prakash Jha has planned premieres of Raajneeti all over the world including New York to London, Muscat, Bahrain, Delhi and Mumbai.

Katrina has begun to read up as much as as she can on current affairs and has lately been watching the news as closely as possible so that her role as a politician in Raajneeti would resonate in real life. Interestingly that's the formula the pair adopts in their acting. While Katrina likes to rehearse and get it pitch- perfect Ranbir is more spontaneous.

Prakash Jha also says, “Katrina has finished her dubbing, Ranbir hasn't even started. He has been busy with various ad commitments after he finished shooting in the US for Anjaana Anjaani. But he'll do the dubbing in no time at all.”

KATRINA KAIF- Learning bhojpuri language

It might be interesting to know that beautiful and sexy Celeb of Bollywood katrina is now interested in learning new languages. This half British celeb had to take up Hindi lessons when she just joined the industry as she was week in Hindi and today Katrina Kaif is among the leading damsels in Bolly industry.

But this is more interesting to know that now this sexy siren of bollywood is now adressing her fans in a few Bhojpuri words. Recently, she had been to Bihar for the promotion of her movie 'Raajneeti' and made an effort to address her fans in Bhojpuri. Though she can not speak it perfectly and made some small errors, her effort was still appreciated.

Katrina is one of the most brilliant and talented actresses of Bollywood who came up with no filmy bacground and had always attempted to learn new things, new languages and that is why she is one of the most sought after stars in the industry.