Agent Vinod

Directed by: Sriram Raghavan

Starring: Saif Ali Khan, Kareena Kapoor, Ravi Kishnan, Prem Chopra

Released: 2012

Fight it, if you will, but whenever a spy movie appears people expect to see a version of a James Bond. Stylish, dangerous but fighting for „the good guys“, witty, with awesome one-liners for every occasion possible, sexy and with women swooning at his mere presence. Vinod is no exception and he fulfills this generally accepted perception of a secret agent to the utmost, as is quite apparent from the first moment we see him all beaten up and interrogated by the bad guys in a terrorist camp in a middle of a desert, seemingly with no chance to escape his certain death. After causing a mild shock to the viewer by his pretended disloyalty and betrayed of his country he manages to escape with a minor help of his secret accomplice and even manage to rescue a beautiful girl wearing fancy desi outfit and having a flaw-less make up on in spite of being tied in a bag. And it´s time to get onto other things – like finding out why Vinod´s collegue had to die in Russia and what exactly is '242', which was the last info that the dead agent provided.

Vinod´s search takes us places very much undiscovered by the Bollywood camera lenses, from cold Russia to dusty and hot Morocco, to how-many-of-you-can-find-it-on-the-map Latvia and ultimately of course Pakistan and India. Spectacular cinematography gives each place its own identity and takes some of the best out of what the countries mentioned have to offer. The plot is interesting enough, but ultimately lacked the thrill and mystery factor for me, since unlike Vinod we can pretty much get the hint that 242 is actually a nuclear bomb. The film is cleverly edited. Usually it is easy to loose orientation among many flashbacks, but the editing really makes the best out of it and in this matter the film really gives the impression of being seamlessly put together. 

I´m used to pain....

...but doctor tell me the injection will not hurt!

Saif Ali Khan is today undoubtedly among the most talented and charismatic actors in India. He blends into the character of Vinod with admirable ease and the powerful subtlety he acts with is brilliant. He owns the film, that was apparently written for him, with him and about him, and gives him a chance to shine. The action sequences may not be completely realistic, but they seem to be, so why complain? The weakness of the film it´s the length of it all. The perfect editing needed to be more tight.

The villains are plentiful and impressive, all different from each other which makes it even more great. Leaving the villanious businessmen running the world aside, Prem Chopra takes the cake among them with his portrayal of a Moroccan gangster having no mercy with people but shedding tears over his pet camel. To get a glimpse of Gulshan Grover was also a pleasant surprise, after all I´m a 90s fan!

Why do we always have to be the bad ones?

Because we are awesome like that.

A character yet to be mentioned is Iram, or „Dr. Ruby“ played by extremely-good-looking-in-this-movie Kareena Kapoor. Why only now? Maybe because it seems appropriate to ad her to the final product without caring much if she has a place in it, which apparently is the case of the role within the movie. From the promos Iram was somebody I was looking forward to, but she is stripped of her mystery way too soon, and had nothing more to offer except for a very awkwardly choreographed and executed Dil Mera Muft – a truly not good a song that was originally propagated as the new mother of all mujras (Ha!). As if Iram didn´t belong in the story at all and Saif just really wanted his girlfriend in it. When you have a real life couple though, wouldn´t you spice the story up with something romantic? But all those hoping for some love on screen were hugely disappointed, as Vinod and Iram are anything but lovers. 

Dil Tera Muft Ka? I should actually charge you for having to watch that dance!

Obviously hoping for a slick and rocking action movie coming to us from Bollywood may not be a completely futile one. No, Agent Vinod is not it. But it is a great promise for the future.

Kurbaan

Directed by: Rensil D'Silva
Starring: Saif Ali Khan, Kareena Kapoor, Om Puri, Kirron Kher, Vivek Oberoi, Dia Mirza
Released: 2009 

Why do I choose to watch and review so many dark films lately? Maybe the annual winter depression is settling in and results in my need to watch some grim films and review other grim films, which give you nothing but grim feelings and eventually some sickening tightness in your stomach area as you watch the actors suffers, bleed, suffer, weep and suffer. Kurbaan is one of these films. Just like „New York“ before it and „My name is Khan“ after it Kurbaan uses the tragedy of the 11th September 2001 as its background and also a point from which the story goes.

Avantika is a college teacher living in Delhi. Young, unattached. Up until the moment a new teacher Ehsaan appears in school and since the first minute is making passes at Avantika in a manner that would earn him a sleazy stalker label in my book. Fortunatelly soon enough he turns all that into coffee breaks and more regular stuff... and ultimately wins his prize when Avantika, her head and heart all messed up, not only gives into the relationship in spite of everything, including knowing him for a short time and religious differences. Because she is a Hindu and he is a Muslim... suspicious yet?

I am a nice guy who wears make up and I shall love you forever.

Avantika used to teach in the US and only returned to India because of her father´s illness, but now her American university is wanting her back. But she is in love, nah? How can she just leave India for her career now that Ehsaan is busy romancing her day and night? And so Ehsaan does a oh-so-noble gesture and declares his love is more important than his job and he is more than willing o relocate to the US with Avantika. They get marry and he thus gets a right to live and work in America..... suspicious yet?

Ehsaan starts teaching at the university, together with Avantika  they find a house in an Indian (mostly Muslim) neighbourhood.... life is perfect, nah? Up until the moment one of the neighbours, Salma, reveals to her that the people around may just not be as peaceful and nice. Her husband does not want her to leave the house. And he has a secret. And Salma asks Avantika to contact a journalist Rihana and ask for help, because she herself cannot do anything.... Avantika is disturbed. Even more so when Salma disappears the very next day... Now pregnant and very much bewildered Avantika is suddenly finding out the horrifying truth. Her neighbours are terrorists. She needs to tell Ehsaan! And so she runs into his arms only to realize he already knows. And what more. He is one of them.... now – which one of you have not seen that coming?

Me and my buddies are literally a mind-blowing gang!

The predictability factor is one of the main weaknesses of Kurbaan. There are too many things and details introduced with an intention for things to look normal, but hey, we are watching a film. We know that 99% things that happen are not unintentional, that almost everything is supposed to be remembered because it is coming to our attention later. The whole plot is of course sickening, just like any kind of terrorism. But there is hardly anything that would surprise you. And considering Saif Ali Khan is the main lead, it comes as no shock that they tried to make him a „likeable terrorist“, who is only a terrorist because he lost his family, and who now loves Avantika, and basically we should feel pity for him. I cannot say I did. True enough there are likeable villains in the reel world that one feels for – from Shahrukh Khan in Baazigar, Amitabh Bachchan in Agneepath to most recently Priyanka Chopra in 7 Khoon Maaf, but the difference between them is that they do not kill hundreds of innocent people. Even a through and through evil character like Don, who doesn´t forgive and is a complete Kamina is more likeable than Ehsaan!That said Saif acted brilliant and looked hot, in spite of wearing a heavy make-up, looking almost girly at times. Overall the performances are really the only thing that keeps Kurbaan above the water and saves it from drowning.

And my eyelashes. Don´t forget my eyelashes.

Kareena may not really look convincing as a university professor, but vulnerability she displays makes her a perfect choice for Avantika. Since the first part of the movie is mostly told through her point of view (her settling in the new neighbourhood and slowly unveiling the secrets had a funny X-files vibe by the way), it makes one sorry that the other half focuses more on Saif and his „friends“ planning an attack while she is mostly just lying in bed and crying. The other couple that impresses with their screen presence and commendable acting are my very much adored Om Puri and not-sure-what-I-feel-for-her Kirron Kher. They are menacing, just one look at them teaches you about respect. And they are so damn good.

All that said the final word that can describe Kurbaan would be „boring“. Except for two or three thrilling sequences (Avantika finding the truth, Rihana on the plane, the climactic chase against the time) the film feels never-endingly long and the snail pace is sure to wear one out soon, especially since there are no changes in the settings, music or anything else that would demand full attention. The terrorists are ultimately evil, their women ultimately innocent and Ehsaan, being a „likeable“ terrorists, is allowed to promptly die with Avantika crying her eyes out before him. And sadly the boring factor of the film is so high it lowers the rating considerably.

Your eye-liner is gone!

No point in living now.

How to eat a hero

The gorgeous man-eater

If you should just like that, on the spot, remember some of Madhuri´s male co-stars, the names to spring into your mind will be Shahrukh Khan, Salman Khan, Anil Kapoor, Sanjay Dutt, Aamir Khan and Jackie Shroff. Then you just might remember Mithun Chakraborthy as well as Rishi Kapoor. The truth is that after she completely overruled Anil in Beta (1992) and whenever a film of hers flopped with people saying she was the only good thing in it, she quickly gained a reputation of a woman who tears her co-stars apart and „eats them“. It was said that many actors were apprehensive of acting alongside her, because she was sure to overshadow them. This was a rare quality which, as far as I know, only two other women possessed – Madhubala and Sridevi. Not even Anil, Jackie or Salman for hat matter were saved. I honestly believe she only found a true match as far as screen presence, charisma and skills are concerned in Shahrukh and Aamir. But let´s take a look at some of her lesser known victims.

Tapas Pal was Madhuri´s first hero. Her debut film Abodh was meant to be his entry into Bollywood. He originates from Calcutta and these days he´s into politics, while his co-star, whom he launched (though unsuccessfully) is Bollywood legend. Abodh however turned out to be his first and only film in Hindi. In between 1991-2000 he had no film releases whatsoever, most recently he appeared in a movie „I love you“ from 2007. You cannot really talk about any chemistry between the two actors. Madhuri was too young and too inexperienced, plus the film was about marital misunderstanding. Still they did look well together, and Abodh remains a sweet film thanks to their pairing. They were not even remotely sizzling, but definitely pleasant to watch. And funny to say that even though Tapas was an experienced actor, it was the debuting girl who left some impact.

Vinod Khanna. Alright, you would remember the fact he was paired opposite Madhuri because of that super infamous scene in Dayavan. I think it is sad not many bother to see further. Vinod Khanna was much older then Madhuri and their couple could be perhaps seen as Shahrukh/Deepika of their time. They were paired opposite each other in two films. First it was Dayavan – and the kissing scene, during which Madhuri was so desperately uncomfortable, never really bothered me. The couple was just married after all, and there was no eating of each other´s heads anyway with sensual music in the background. Dayavan (1988) actually had several truly beautiful romantic moments and one could feel peace and silent love from the relationship. The second film was Mahasangram from 1990. Here Madhuri had a rather insignificant, but truly hilarious role and kept the film from being too depressing. We do not see much of a relationship here. She simply meets him, robs him, saves him, dances for him, he saves her life and they get married. While in Dayavan I actually quite liked them together, in Mahasangram they did not have any effect whatsoever. Madhuri was there for herself and not as a half of any couple. And she did a splendid job.

One of the most touching moments of Dayavan.

Sunny Deol appeared with Madhuri in two films. First one was a hit Tridev (1989), in which they were husband and wife, but considering they are violently separated very early in the film, there is not much jodi-ness going on. We do get a beautiful love song though. The second time they acted alongside each other was 12 years later in Yeh Raaste Hain Pyar Ke. In this forgotten (THANK GOD) Sunny was her friend, whom she refuses to marry, since she is in love with somebody else. Thus we can mention Ajay Devgn. YRHPK had him as the main lead in a double role, and Madhuri romanced „both“ Ajays, though only one was interested in her. While Sunny and Madhuri looked good together and I wouldn´t mind seeing more of them even today, Ajay Devgn is one man with whom she shares a truly zero chemistry. He is brilliant actor. She is brilliant actress. But they simply don´t work. After the film Ajay admitted he always felt dwarfed by her acting.

Sunny and Madhuri just engaged. Jackie was Madhuri´s brother in the film.

With Ajay Devgan. Chemistry, kahan ho tum?

Sanjay Kapoor´s name accompanied Madhuri´s in two films – first time it was in Raja in 1995. The film by Indra Kumar was meant to be his way to the Bollywood height, but even though the film was a big hit, all credit was given to Madhuri. Not only her skills and experience was far greater, but Sanjay Kapoor, though an OK actor, completely lacks any screen presence and Madhuri pretty much reduced him to ashes, though of course not intentionally. Sanjay Kapoor did not stand a chance at all. Next time they met on the silver screen he was in love with her, but she was not in love with him, though thanks to a dream sequence we got to see them romantically involved for a moment. That was in Mohabbat (1997). And Mohabbat also marked Madhuri´s first working association with Akshaye Khanna. Madhuri was thus one of the three actresses (other two being Hema Malini and Sridevi) to romance both father and son. And she had better chemistry with the son, though he is seven years younger. She did look older then him in the film, which did not at least bother me, because she still looked gorgeous, and you know, older women do romance younger guys in real life pretty often. But for many narrow minded people this was a big problem, and reviews more then about the film talked about her 9 years old kissing scene with Akshaye´s father. How professional. Second time that gave us a chance to see Akshaye with Madhuri was ten years later in Aaja Nachle. His hair loss obviously made up for any visible age difference and there was not one complaint. And while in Mohabbat they were cute, in Aaja Nachle they were sizzling! This is one couple I´d love to see again.

You know without the man on the left it would be a perfect picture.

As far as I know (and I can be wrong as I have not seen all Madhuri´s movies) Chunky Panday too shared the screen space with the diva two times. In Tezaab (1989) I can´t actually recall any scenes he would share with Madhuri, except for driving the car while she and Anil Kapoor are being miserable about their romance not going too well. He got his chance to woo Madhuri in 1991 in Khilaaf, and well, he screwed up. Madhuri´s unbounding passion in the film, be it connected to love or hate, was just overwhelming, while he managed to make a complete idiot out of himself in the first part, and rather unconvincing tragic lover in the second. To look at them was pleasant. To watch him act with her not so much.

No matter what, this song was amazing...

Nana Patekar was never trying to hide his deep admiration towards La Dixit and even was heard reciting poetry dedicated to her during his interviews. Their working relationship covers several films, but they were never romantically paired in the true sense. In Mohre (1987), Parinda (1989) and Prahaar (1991) they had very limited number of scenes together (if any at all). This change with 1999 film Wajood. Not even this was a „jodi“, because Nana plays a stalker in love with Madhuri, and their only romance takes place in his dreams and imagination. The chemistry between them was great though. I always say you don´t have to be a romantic pair to have a chemistry, and this applies to Nana/Madhuri combo. Just watch their final confrontation scene in the theater to know what I mean. The explosion of superb acting of the two will blow you away. Nana did survive.

Talent and charisma overload.

Very similarly like in Mohabbat, there was a love triangle in another OK-ish film Aarzoo (1999). In it Madhuri was paired with Akshay Kumar. They have already appeared together in Dil To Pagal Hai, but there he has more of a cameo role and she belonged to Shahrukh Khan (after all, the most beautiful lady belongs to the sexiest man, no?). In Aarzoo he got her undivided attention and it was really nice to see their pairing. I found them refreshing, though poor Akshay did not stand a chance against Madhuri in attention grabbing.... or other things. Saif Ali Khan, apart from admitting his naughtiest fantasy is to kiss Madhuri´s navel, also became a victim to Madhuri´s aura.

With Akshay...

...and with the guy who has naughty thoughts about her navel.

There are two more names that come to my mind: Samir Soni was lucky enough to make a couple with Madhuri in Lajja. True, we did not get to see much more apart him being a complete ass and ruining her dreams. But I wouldn´t mind seeing them together again, as I think Samir is a fine actor and well, they looked good. Finally we have Kumar Gaurav. He and Madhuri made a completely forgettable film Phool together in 1993. Do I really have to say that she ate them all up as was her habit?

Saif Ali Khan Wall papers

Saif Ali Khan's Biography

Name: Saif Ali Khan
Birthday: 16th August
Height: 5'8
Address: Belscot Bungalow No 5,Lokhandwala Complex,Andheri [W], Mumbai 58.
Star Sign: Leo
Marital Status: Single
First Movie: Aashiq Aawara