When your favourites disappoint

They say you only are a true fan if you are willing to suffer through your favourite´s god-damn-awful filmography. Bad films happen. To everybody from Dilip Kumar to Akshay Kumar. Sometimes they are not even really that bad, but somehow disappointing and weak. Some of such films of some of my favourite actors to follow.

Jodi Breakers

Directed by: Ashwini Chaudhary

Starring: Madhavan, Bipasha Basu, Omi Vaidya

Released: 2012

I tried to watch the film before, but turned it off after first 15 or so minutes, but then I told myself I may not want to be as harsh, after all Madhavan is my teddy-bear. Sadly his presence doesn´t save the film, and the character he plays is actually one of the most annoying loosers I´ve seen on screen. Bipasha is way too unbelievable with her innocent act and the two have no chemistry. The film has one of the dumbest twists (and resolves) ever. So he destroys somebody else´s marriage so his ex-wife can get a rich new husband and he gets his car back? Really? And I am supposed to root for this person? And frankly I didn´t see s single reason what would Sid need Sonali as his partner anyway, thus even the basic plot doesn´t really make sense. To top it all Omi Vadiya was completely annoying as a sex God from the high heavens. In one word: lame. Why was Helen in this?

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Paa

Directed by: R. Balki

Starring: Amitabh Bachchan, Vidya Balan, Abhishek Bachchan

Released: 2009

I guess some films are just overrated. After having a shock from rather awkward subtitles narrated for whatever reason by Jaya Bachchan, I was kept waiting .... and waiting for the awesomeness praised by the critics to appear, but it never did. The story deals with a very sad issue of progeria, a rare disease causing the body to age before its time – and that very rapidly. The main character, a twelve years old boy Auro, suffering from the condition, actually has a body of an 80 year old. And what more – he doesn´t have a father. Or rather, doesn´t know him. After all this father did not want a child and only because Auro´s mother refused to go for an abortion and left her partner was the child born. The fate however brings the family together again. Everybody in the film does an OK job. From Abhishek to Amitabh, who did not really understand what age he is trying to act. Instead of a 12 years old his handling of the character made Auro seem like barely 7 years old boy. He did well, don´t get me wrong, but nothing overly impressive. I had the same problem with Sridevi in Sadma, where she is supposed to act like 7 years old, but instead gives an impression of a four-year-old, and that does a hell lot of a difference. Vidya is the best of the lot, but is criminally deprived of deserved screen time by the male protagonists. If anything the movie should have been named Maa, because what I took from the film was really the assurance that love of a mother is above everything.

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Bhootnath

Directed by: Vivek B. Sharma

Starring: Amitabh Bachchan, Aman Siddiqui, Juhi Chawla, Shahrukh Khan

Released: 2008

Not one, but two favourites included – Shahrukh and Juhi – and yet... oh Mr. Sharma this is a perfect example of wasting great acting talent. When you have actors like this you don´t give all the screentime to a kid. Bhootnath is a fine film for children, but far from a great piece of cinema the director presents it till this day.

Shahrukh, the freakingly handsome in his white uniform sea cruise captain moves his wife and son into a new house, not caring everybody says it is haunted. He promptly leaves and his wife invests all her time to attempts to make the new living space more comfortable, while their son soon discovers the house is indeed haunted by a grumpy and dirty old ghost. In no time, they become friends. There are way too many question concerning the ghost (sometimes he can´t touch things, sometimes he can, he apparently eats and can shave and wash..... way too many supernatural powers for one sad soul if you ask me, and pretty much defying everything one would imagine when it comes to ghosts), but I guess children wouldn´t really mind. However the kids should not be too demanding. There is nothing scary or hilarious about the story and the situations shown. See, I don´t even know what else to write. Watch and forget movie.

Agent Vinod

Directed by: Sriram Raghavan

Starring: Saif Ali Khan, Kareena Kapoor, Ravi Kishnan, Prem Chopra

Released: 2012

Fight it, if you will, but whenever a spy movie appears people expect to see a version of a James Bond. Stylish, dangerous but fighting for „the good guys“, witty, with awesome one-liners for every occasion possible, sexy and with women swooning at his mere presence. Vinod is no exception and he fulfills this generally accepted perception of a secret agent to the utmost, as is quite apparent from the first moment we see him all beaten up and interrogated by the bad guys in a terrorist camp in a middle of a desert, seemingly with no chance to escape his certain death. After causing a mild shock to the viewer by his pretended disloyalty and betrayed of his country he manages to escape with a minor help of his secret accomplice and even manage to rescue a beautiful girl wearing fancy desi outfit and having a flaw-less make up on in spite of being tied in a bag. And it´s time to get onto other things – like finding out why Vinod´s collegue had to die in Russia and what exactly is '242', which was the last info that the dead agent provided.

Vinod´s search takes us places very much undiscovered by the Bollywood camera lenses, from cold Russia to dusty and hot Morocco, to how-many-of-you-can-find-it-on-the-map Latvia and ultimately of course Pakistan and India. Spectacular cinematography gives each place its own identity and takes some of the best out of what the countries mentioned have to offer. The plot is interesting enough, but ultimately lacked the thrill and mystery factor for me, since unlike Vinod we can pretty much get the hint that 242 is actually a nuclear bomb. The film is cleverly edited. Usually it is easy to loose orientation among many flashbacks, but the editing really makes the best out of it and in this matter the film really gives the impression of being seamlessly put together. 

I´m used to pain....

...but doctor tell me the injection will not hurt!

Saif Ali Khan is today undoubtedly among the most talented and charismatic actors in India. He blends into the character of Vinod with admirable ease and the powerful subtlety he acts with is brilliant. He owns the film, that was apparently written for him, with him and about him, and gives him a chance to shine. The action sequences may not be completely realistic, but they seem to be, so why complain? The weakness of the film it´s the length of it all. The perfect editing needed to be more tight.

The villains are plentiful and impressive, all different from each other which makes it even more great. Leaving the villanious businessmen running the world aside, Prem Chopra takes the cake among them with his portrayal of a Moroccan gangster having no mercy with people but shedding tears over his pet camel. To get a glimpse of Gulshan Grover was also a pleasant surprise, after all I´m a 90s fan!

Why do we always have to be the bad ones?

Because we are awesome like that.

A character yet to be mentioned is Iram, or „Dr. Ruby“ played by extremely-good-looking-in-this-movie Kareena Kapoor. Why only now? Maybe because it seems appropriate to ad her to the final product without caring much if she has a place in it, which apparently is the case of the role within the movie. From the promos Iram was somebody I was looking forward to, but she is stripped of her mystery way too soon, and had nothing more to offer except for a very awkwardly choreographed and executed Dil Mera Muft – a truly not good a song that was originally propagated as the new mother of all mujras (Ha!). As if Iram didn´t belong in the story at all and Saif just really wanted his girlfriend in it. When you have a real life couple though, wouldn´t you spice the story up with something romantic? But all those hoping for some love on screen were hugely disappointed, as Vinod and Iram are anything but lovers. 

Dil Tera Muft Ka? I should actually charge you for having to watch that dance!

Obviously hoping for a slick and rocking action movie coming to us from Bollywood may not be a completely futile one. No, Agent Vinod is not it. But it is a great promise for the future.

Agneepath

Directed by: Karan Malhotra

Starring: Hrithik Roshan, Sanjay Dutt, Rishi Kapoor, Priyanka Chopra, Om Puri

Released: 2012

Agneepath is definitely one of the best films to come out of Bollywood in the past several years. To have a reference point I watched the original first, and I can without a second thought say that this is, together with Don, the best remake I´ve seen.

The original, as impressive as the one man show by Amitabh Bachchan was and as endearing Mithunda was, did not really leave much impact in my mind, and although it is revered as a classic by many, it is not a movie I would watch again from my own choice. As far as I know it gained its cult status by handling in an interesting an innovative manner of revenge more than anything else. The new Agneepath takes all the best out of the old one, moulds it with more action, more thrill, more glamour and produces a cinematic piece full of passion and emotions. Agneepath has a mysterious kind of wild beauty, and that even during the scenes that (as far as content is the matter) are actually nail-biting and even disgusting. It concentrates less on the underworld plotting and more on the persona of Vijay, there is less of motherly scolding and rejection but that doesn´t mean it´s less painful. The love track, although still secondary, is better understood than in the original, where it somehow happened out of nowhere (the old Bollywood-way), while in the new one it has a background and reason. 

Hrithik as Vijay is perfect (and so is Arish Bhiwandiwala as a young Vijay, one of the best child performances since Ayesha Kapoor in Black). I am not talking only about his stellar performance, but about his overall look, his presentation - and age! He was exactly what Vijay should have been. His natural interaction with all the characters seemed completely effortless from his silent love for Kaali, protectiveness of his sister to disdain he felt for Lala and finally the utter hatred for Kancha, all was there, mixed together and always painfully real. His eyes speak without words, but his dialogue delivery, especially the poem recital uttered in pain in the moments of bitter victory, is wonderful. 

 

His brilliance is only rivaled by Rishi Kapoor, who conquered a new base. From teenage lover boy to Lala, Rishi proves he is no less than the more appreciated names like Amitabh Bachchan or Dharmendra. I dare to go as far as to call his villanious act iconic. Sanjay Dutt, of course, gives also a very impressive performance, but is given a raw deal and his screaming scene at the beginning does not leave the desired impact. Special mention to Om Puri, who never fails. After seeing the original film I was somehow wary because from the start it was heralded the new adaptation will not have one of the chief characters – Krishnan Iyer, played by Mithun Chakraborthy. I could not really imagine how that could be done as he had quite a prominent role that held importance in all the lines of the story, but the script of new Agneepath surprised. Krishnan was definitely not an ungrateful and meaningless character, but I never felt his absence in the new film. That also leaves Mithun Chakraborthy the only actor from the previous cast who remains unsurpassed.

The highly impressive villains.

Priyanka Chopra as Kaali looks beautiful, but she is one actress you know can act the pants off of almost everyone, and so one is bound to feel disappointed at the lack of screen time she gets as well as lack of character development. She is lovely, of course, but anyone at all could have done the role. Both Vijay´s mother and sister are actually characters with more impact on both his life and the viewer, in spite of also being sidelined. The last notable female appearing in the film was of course Katrina Kaif as Chikni Chameli, but oh my! Whatever looked good in the promos looked completely out of place in the movie. The editing with special fading effects made it seem like the film switched to MTV for a while. Not even Katrina´s dancing was good. I recall how I was impressed by the promos early this year, but after seeing the whole thing I must say Katrina can move, but that was not a dancing. The blame should be put mostly to the choreographer of course, but Katrina doesn´t ad anything positive to the whole thing either. Her expression doesn´t change throughout, and if you notice she hardly ever does two different moves in one take. The shot is always cut when it should come to a change. Chikni Chameli so became my least favourite part of the movie and definitely one of its rare weaknesses. The best song - and dance - must be for me Gun Gun Guna. Also the wedding song right before the interval was excellent, it helped to build the tension and thrill wonderfully.

The visual part of the movie ads to its beauty. It´s wildly colourful, but not sugary or over the top. The play of colours and shadows are used brilliantly to portray the difference between the hell that is Mandwa and a peaceful place it used to be. The symbolism finds its place (we all like it, don´t we) when Vijay literally steps into Lala´s shoes, when a tree Kanha uses for executions witheres seemingly without reason and more.

People call the old Agneepath a classic, but to me personally this label doesn´t really fit. I guess it is one of those cases when a movie needs to be viewed in the frame of its own era. To me it was a fine film with fine performances, but way too many loopholes, subplots, and let´s face it but Amitabh Bachchan as Vijay was a miscast. I still recommend to watch it first, so you can truly appreciate the new Agneepath. It really impressed me more than I even expected (and my expectation were indeed very high).

Players

Directed by: Abbas-Mustan

Starring: Abhishek Bachchan, Sonam Kapoor, Bipasha Basu, Neil Nitin Mukesh, Omi Vaidya, Bobby Deol, Sikander Kher, Vinod Khanna

Released: 2012

How can you take seriously somebody named Charlie Mascarenhas as a mastermind high-class, next-to-supernatural-hero thief? Even more so when he is played by Abhishek Bachchan (who just never learns)? Players (or by a more precise title „Thiefs“) was supposed to be a rocking action packed multi-starrer, but maybe it would have been better if the film was called off once people like Priyanka Chopra and Kareena Kapoor decided to say no to it, because frankly, though the cast is full of known names, none of them really sells on their own.

The „player“ Charlie with his awesome and genius mind, finds his way to super secret information about a transport of a huge amount of gold from Russia to Romania, which immediately becomes his next goal. However he´s not naive enough to think he can pull such a robbery off by himself, and so after a consultation with the best of the best players (read „thieves“), the aging and jailed Victor Dada (Vinod Khanna) he puts together a team of the best thieves with different abilities. His romantic interest Rhea (sexy but somehow boring and unpleasant Bipasha Basu) is to be useful in getting information out of certain men, then there are a master-disguiser Sunny (Omi Vaidya), explosives expert Bilal (Sikander Kher), a magician (Bobby Deol) and a hacker Spider (Neil Nitin Mukesh). And of course the super cool Charlie. However soon after actually pulling off the robbery Charlie finds out someone may have outsmarted him.... and there will be a hell to pay.

"Wait. Somebody stole my wallet. Call the police!"

What kills Players are weak and unimpressive performances, artificial dialogues and in spite of some good twist and turns a considerable level of predictability (though the last may be just my problem, I always happen to know the bad guys from the start, don´t ask me how). I actually really liked the first half, as most of the bad acting and questionable script was compensated by a well made action sequence and nice speed that did not give one too much time to analyze. However after the interval it all slowed down and somehow lost purpose and whatever thrill there was left.

We are sitting in the middle of Siberia and whole Russia is looking for us...

...so let´s drink champagne from fancy glasses we did not forget to pack.

Abhishek is someone I never minded, but I still maintain what I´ve been saying for the past year - he needs to STOP acting cool guys with brilliant minds, because he just doesn´t deliver. Perhaps now after Player, Game and Dum Maro Dum flopped he will get the message? Unfortunatelly for him I think it is too late for him to reinvent himself (hoping to be proved wrong). Sonam has definitely improved, she does not make me cringe everytime she opens her mouth anymore, however she disappoints when it comes to anything emotional. There was NO difference in her expression whether she was flirting with Abhishek, casually serving food or wathching her father being shot. Bipasha is someone whom I fail to like, she just doesn´t pick good roles and just like with Abhishek it seems she is only good for one type of roles AKA we´ve seen it all before. Neil is by far the best, however still far from being impressive. All the actors (ironically with the exception of Johny Lever) give you the impression they totally do not care about anything, least of all about acting. 

Let´s lay down the wreaths and bury this film in some dark corner of our minds.