Chupke Chupke

Directed by: Hrishikesh Mukherjee

Starring: Dharmendra, Om Prakash, Amitabh Bachchan, Sharmila Tagore, Jaya Bachchan

Released: 1975

There used to be a time when while watching a comedy movie you could do so with the whole family from half-deaf grandma to the smallest kids without worrying that a vulgar joke will be said, without fear that in the next moment twenty naked oily girls are going to weave themselves into the limbs of the hero. That was a time of films like Chupke Chupke, which is among the very best of genuine, entertaining and harmless comedies.

Starring the ever so charming Dharmendra as the main lead, the film starts with him (under the name of Parimal Tripathi, a famous botany professor) trying to help out a keeper of a mountain bungalow by pretending to be him. To his horror as soon as he disguises himself and the real keeper wanders off to visit his son in a hospital, a bus loaded with female botany students arrives and he has to fulfill all the keeper´s duties. Among the girls we can find Sulekha (young and fresh Sharmila Tagore), who ultimately finds out the truth about Parimal and the two fall in love.

Love? I´m here to keep the bungalow. I charge more for falling in love.

Nobody objects and so they soon get married, but Parimal´s marital bliss is constantly bugged by a relative he has not even met yet – Sulekha´s brother-in-law (Om Prakash). Apparently whatever he does and says is treated as the Holy word in the whole family, because he is well educated and witty. Finally Parimal is way too annoyed with all the praise on the adress of „jijaji“ and makes a bet with Sulekha: He is going to show her her brother-in-law is just as human and can make mistakes like every other mortal by tricking him. Soon after jijaji employs a new driver for his family, not aware he is no other than Parimal, the new relative he has not yet met.

Jijaji 24-hours nonstop telephone help line. May I share my words of wisdom with you?

Truth is that until some point the whole thing is interesting to watch and after that becomes somehow pointless. The trickery evolves into an intricate scheme organized by Parimal, but using help of not only Sulekha, but also some of his friends, but somehow you never get to know why. After some time it leaves the intention to mislead the poor jijaji and becomes more of a fun game enjoyed by the ones who actually do know what is going on, but causing much genuine distress to those not involved in the plot. And when it comes to that, I always feel rather uncomfortable. Anyway the films manages to overcome its own pointlessness with pure entertainment guaranteed mostly by the one and only Dharam, whose comic timing is perfect and his natural charm just keeps you with a smile plastered on your face throughout.

Can I please have one more uniform? With pinky butterflies, please?

Let´s do some romancing among flower petals first!

The last 20 minutes are weaker than the rest of the movie, mostly because the focus shifts to Parimal´s friend Sukumar Sinha (Amitabh Bachchan) and his love troubles caused by him previously agreeing to pose as Parimal for the sake of the trickery to go on for a while longer. However how to explain to young Vasudha (Jaya Bhaduri) now that he is actually not the married botany professor, but a very much available bachelor? Not that he would act badly, but after Dharmendra compeltely stealing the show and shining in the film, Amitabh doesn´t manage to reach the level expected by the viewer. Jaya Bhaduri stays for what I usually take her – a small gray mouse without much of a screen-presence, and is somehow lost among the powerful Dharam, less powerful but still good Amitabh, and also ravishing Sharmila who is the one to keep the eyes of all glued on her. Sadly, both ladies are underused.

In spite of the silliness of the plot Chupke Chupke is a very enjoyable film and one of the most effortlessly funny comedies that have ever came out of Bollywood. Safe to watch with family, safe to watch with friends, and brightening up your day even if you are alone.

Nerdy Amitabh rates the film with 4 out of 5 Whirpool washing machines.

Guddi

Directed by: Hrishikesh Mukherjee
Starring: Jaya Bhaduri, Dharmendra, Utpal Dutt
Released: 1971

We have all been there. At one point or another. For some of us it lasted a long time, some snapped out of it rather quickly. But I have yet to meet the person who would not be familiar with it (and if they are denying it, they are still doing it). Fangirling. When liking a celebrity grows and grows until it becomes sort of an obsession. And especially young girls take it to a whole different level altogether. They not only draw the names of their favourite on their exercise books and they don´t only dream with open eyes about meeting their idol. They actually think that the tingling around their hearts upon seeing him is love, that feelings they have been hearing about since forever. How many times have you read comments by girls screaming they want to bear their idol´s babies, how many times have you come across girl crying over their idol having a girlfriend, how many times did you roll your eyes out of sheer frustration over the girls confessing their undying and eternal passion for celebrities. With the invention and still growing popularity of the internet it may seem fangirling of this kind is a matter new age, but Guddi shows us that it is not at all a new concept.

Fangirls. They all look innocent from the outside.

Guddi is an ordinary high-school girl bored with homework and devouring film news, loving short dresses and fangirling Dharmendra (I sincerely cannot blame her). Almost daily she sneaks out of school with her friends and they attack the local cinema, just to watch his movies over and over again. Being motherless, brought up by her father, brother and his wife, Guddi is given a lot of personal freedom, which she cleverly uses, and no wonder she is not too happy once they all suddenly start to treat her like an adult (which basically means her nickname is immediately forgotten, she becomes Kusum, she is forced to change her short dresses for a saree and most importantly her sister-in-law turns into a matchmaker). Once her bhabhi´s brother Navin appears on the horizon, apparently quite taken by the girl, Guddi is highly alarmed, but hoping she´s imagining things just yet. No doubts however, are left once Navin takes her to Mumbai to stay with her uncle for a time, and at the first opportunity asks for her hand. However Guddi shatters his heart with a confession – she is already married!

Now try to top that.

Or rather – she has entered into a spiritual relationship with.... Dharmendra (who knows about it just about much as Shahrukh Khan knows he is MINE.... you get the idea). And she is ready to nourish this impossible love til her death, because he is already married (huh.... I guess Hema Malini took fangirling to even greater heights....). While Navin is frankly baffled by all this and apparently completely unfamiliar with the concept of worshiping film heroes as he pours out his wounded heart into a diary and decides to grieve for the rest of the film, Guddi´s much smarter uncle decides to actually contact Dharmendra, who, after some convincing, agrees to play a part in showing Guddi that all is not gold that glitters, or to be more precise – that there is more difference between real and reel world than just mere play of letters....

The film is incredibly simplistic in both narration and picturization, which gives it both realistic feel and endearing charm. The rather unglamorous heroine is a perfect representation of millions of teenage girls on their way to adulthood and understanding of true values that goes hand in hand with it. I may severely dislike Jaya Bachchan in most of her films and off-screen, but she was the best possible choice for Guddi, looking and acting without much drama or attempts to go over the top. I actually liked her more as a Dharmendra-bessoted fan than a matured ready-to-become-a-dulhan woman from the second part of the film, and it would seem the makers did too, because that is where other characters, namely her uncle and Dharmendra, mostly take over and draw your full attention to themselves.

JAI!

As charming as the movie is the rather monotonous narrative makes it seem lifeless at parts. There is hardly any music – and out of the three songs the best one is actually the one originally from Madhumati (Aaja re pardesi), that just sounds wrong coming out of anyone´s lips but Vyjayanthimala´s. The character of Navin is highly unimpressive, not to say he lacks some common sense of an adult man.

In a way the movie reminded me a bit of Om Shanti Om (that of course came much much later), thanks to quite a large number of star cameos from Amitabh Bachchan and Mala Sinha to Pran and Om Prakash, as well as attempting to show not too exciting and far less dreamy reality of the film-making, in which uncomlicated Guddi of course does actually better job than loud, colourful and over the top OSO, but still the feeling of similarity was there. Guddi seems to be a little tribute to all those who help to create the film fantasy for others to enjoy, be it the producers, script writers, stuntmen, but also electricians, spot boys and even journalists. Interestingly enough as Guddi grows more and more tired of all the make-believe stuff that once she held for real and admirable, the more I was falling in love with the art of film-making....  At the same time though, there was a nagging thought if this was the real, actual state of things or did the maker painted it still more pink than the reality?

Don´t worry. You are the one who gets her for real.

Fiza

Directed by: Khalid Mohammed

Starring: Karishma Kapoor, Hrithik Roshan, Jaya Bachchan

Released: 2000

The Kapoor Khazana continues! After Rishi´s sweaters the next one of the family who deserves a mention is definitely Karishma Kapoor. After all, she is my favourite of the whole khandaan.

Fiza – what a simple name for film with such a nerve-wrecking story and also for a girl with so much to live through. Once a member of a small Muslim family consisting of her, her mother and younger brother Aman, Fiza has first been faced with the non-sensial cruelty of this world when Aman disappeared during the unrests of Bombay Riots in 1993.

Both mother and daughter left behind have a hard time coping with the painful issue, but where Fiza finds enough strength in her youthful stubborness and occupies herself with studies, her mother refuses to accept the possibility of her son´s death. Every week she goes secretly to a police station to inquire about her son, unaware Fiza knows only too well where she goes. And so Fiza suffers not only for the lost brother, but for her mother as well. Such situation lasts whole six years. 

Once a happy family...

After much crying and shouting Fiza decides she has had enough of uncertainty and living on hopes and starts searching for Aman. But everything fails her – the law, the police, politicians.... bribing, threatening, pleading..... nothing brings any fruit, and only makes Fiza more confused as well as hated. She is slowly becoming a public figure and people, who similarly lost their loved ones, are looking up to her. All in vain. Aman seems to have disappeared from the face of the Earth, and nobody can confirm or deny his death.

But fortunately it is year 1999 – the age of internet has come! And a guy, who has been trying for ages to impress Fiza, googles out (cause it sounds stupid if I write "yahoos out") a photo of a terrorist group operating in the border area. And Fiza recognizes similar features in one of the photos. Refusing any company she sets out to find the person in the picture, and yes, on one night she finally, after six years of complete uncertainty, finds her brother. Very much alive. And very much a terrorist.

Yahoo saves the day

Fiza is a basically a family drama, but interestingly enough it portrays it more as three individual stories. There are different points of view on the same situations, all influenced by the character´s background and experience. While traditional, peace-loving mother cannot understand the tragic changes in her life, and ends up committing suicide with a feeling that she has failed in her most sacred task of raising her children, stubborn, adamant and hard-to-please Fiza uses anger to hide her pain. Because you feel that deep inside she is very fragile. And she knows that if the world saw her weakness, it would crush her completely. And then there is of course Aman, the most innocent soul, who after witnessing horrors, adopts a simple belief that freedom and justice need to be fight for with all possible weapons. They are all bound by deep love, but they all completely lack understanding and many a heartbreak comes out of their helplessness to communicate.

A rare sight - Jaya Bachchan NOT crying in an emotional scene.

Karishma owns the film. She is perfect as Fiza. Her gentle appearance moves you even more when she reveals the hidden outrage. Her eyes are giving out all the emotions, everything is very honest and straight about Fiza. I think one scene I could have done without was her dancing in a club. True, she wanted to show others that she could act as all other girls if she wanted (but she doesn´t care to do so, because... she´s not!), but the weird choreography made her look awkward and didn´t really take the advantage of her excellent dancing skills. Also Fiza is one of the rare films where she was not made to wear skimpy clothes and ultra-short skirts, instead a simple white Indian attire and later more modern, but still not revealing clothes perfectly captured her character. Not to mention she look heavenly in white.

There is something about white colour, that makes you feel the inner strength.

The film has also another rare exception – and that is that I actually liked Jaya Bachchan. I find this woman terribly annoying, just her presence on the screen often makes me cringe, but here she was somehow different. I cannot really put my finger on it. She just was. Maybe because for the first time her crying wasn´t constant and didn´t look artificial. Maybe because her dialogue delivery wasn´t so clichéd. Maybe because she really succeeded in creating a bond with Karishma and Hrithik on screen. And speaking about Hrithik, for me this was the best performance he has given that I´ve seen. Yes, I rate it higher than Guzaarish and even Jodhaa-Akbar. His physical resemblance to Karishma was only a plus and they created a wonderful sibling combination. 

If I didn´t know better, I would easily believe they ARE brother and sister.

It is true though, that I did not understand the relationship between Fiza nad her mother. The way it was portraited in different scenes left me rather confused. We see them chatting away merrily, and the next moment Fiza is screaming that her Ami should forget Aman forever. Another time Ami is crying and Fiza is telling her not to give up hope. These constant changes in what Fiza wanted her mother to do were not handeled too well.

The numerous supporting cast does a good job, though nobody really stays in mind, except perhaps Johnny Lever (another rarity – he is funny and not OTT). Sushmita Sen did an item song for the film, but I must admit I was not taken in by her dancing or the song itself, and fast-forwarded through most of it. 

Film works in both parts and doesn´t loose the pace or thrill, the ending comes of as downright nail-biting and very moving. You just don´t want Karishma to pull that trigger. And on the other hand you want Hrithik to be finally given the peace only death can offer. I read that Fiza did not do well at the box office. Yet another proof that the success of the film does not automatically comes with quality.

Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham

Directed by: Karan Johar

Starring: Amitabh Bachchan, Jaya Bachchan, Shahrukh Khan, Kajol, Hrithik Roshan, Kareena Kapoor

Released: 2001

„Not-at-all-dear Karan Johar,

I hate you with passion. Because what you do is that you thrust your greedy hand into people´s chest, you rip their hearts out and then you dance tango over them in tapping shoes. You want them to cry. You want them to cry a LOT. You don´t want to give them anything. You only want to take. While your venture with Kuch Kuch Hota Hai was watchable and Kal Ho Naa Ho quite fun thanks to Saif Ali Khan, your atrocious Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham is the best example of a commercial crap that forces out tears, tears and more tears under a pretext of being a film about family values.

Worst regards

Not-ever-yours Hater.“

I have seen films that bored me to death. I have seen films that made me angry with sheer stupidity. I have seen films that left me utterly confused. K3G 1.) bored me to death 2.) made me angry with sheer stupidity 3.) left me utterly confused PLUS 4.) made me hate Karan Johar and Jaya Bachchan. Why did I watch it then? Because it sadly is one of the most famous films of the past decade and even more sadly it is hugely popular. I can positively say that the films I´ve seen so far and hated had at least one redeeming quality to them. But this has NOTHING, nothing at ALL!!! The story itself is not bad, though not the most exciting or original ever (that wouldn´t bother me one bit). The script though is TERRIBLE, performances bellow average at their best and direction shows a lazy approach with one aim only – to make a hit film. Not a film for someone. Film for money! That is what makes Karan Johar stand out among other directors. His unashamed hunger for commercial success. And he will use anything to get it. I don´t even know where to start with all the bashing of this waste of celluloid!

Amitabh Bachchan plays an elderly father of a family, that consists of his wife (Jaya Bachchan) and two sons, adopted Rahul (yeah yeah.... Shahrukh and who else. They run out of names for him a long time ago) and their own Rohan (some fat kiddo, then Hrithik Roshan). They are a PERFECT family. And I mean PERFECT (aka they have larger than life photos of themselves everywhere, including one really freaky family portrait). They love each other, they celebrate Diwalis in STYLE and they are DISGUSTINGLY rich. Their house was apparently imported from England and used to be a castle. They don´t usually use cars (those are apparently for poor), they prefer helicopters, and they have a garden of a size of central China. But then Rahul falls in love with a poor girl Anjali (Kajol). BOOM BOOM BOOM!!! Thunder strikes and it signifies Amitabh Bachchan is not amused. After Rahul hears out some abuses on the adress of a girl he loves, he does what every perfect son would – he begs on his knees for forgiveness. But duh! Anjali just lost her father. And so instead of dumping her Rahul marries her. BOOM BOOM BOOM!!! Amitabh Bachchan is like seriously pissed. So he says that from now on Rahul should get out. And Rahul goes. And because obviously India is way too small, he settles down in London. There his wife gets birth to a son and next ten years spends with xenophobic ranting against everything even remotely English. With them lives also Anjali´s younger sister Pooja (Kareena Kapoor), who grows up into a Paris Hilton-ish airhead and with her equally stupid friends rules the college. But then her heart is stricken with love as soon as a MUSCULAR guy gets out of his fancy red car. YEAH! Rohan, Rahul´s younger brother, lost the baby fat (but he still cannot do his shoe-laces) and now he set out to unite his family. And the best way to do so is to pretend you are a complete stranger and sneak into Rahul´s home. Wah Wah. Kya planning hai! By this time I was really thinking about killing myself and only finished the film because I found fascinating how BAD it actually was.

Absolutely typical Indian home.

Karan Johar says that „It is all about loving your parents“, but the film says that it is all about endless whining, weeping, sobbing, crying and being miserable. They are still talking about how they love each other, but NOBODY does ANYTHING to show that love. No. They prefer to call you a disgrace (Amitabh), sulk in London for ten years (Shahrukh), emotionally blackmail everyone (Hrithik) or bulging eyes while silently crying (Jaya). There is absolutely no love going on on the screen. You cannot feel any emotions. All the actors are like in their own vacuum, where they act, and they just happen to be in one frame together. There is nothing that could be called an interaction. Amitabh is highly unlikable as a stubborn aging father who loves his authority more then his family. Jaya Bachchan getting an award for looking retarded most of the time is an insult. Shahrukh Khan is looking unforgivably sexy, but is so clean and sweet and perfect that even he was a sore to look at after all that whining! Kajol, whom I finally started to like more then just tolerating her presence on screen, is made to behave like a drunken twit (I shall never forgive Karan for this). And since I am among the minority who does not really see what is THAT special about them, their jodi does not save anything for me. Rani is decent and wasted and forgettable. Hrithik is a goody goody with muscles and that´s where it ends. Kareena had no importance in the story at all.

Music, except for two songs, is very average. And there is one more thing about Karan Johar´s films: the main theme shall repeat again...and again.... and again..... until you feel like kicking into something every time it appears. I had the same problem with Kuch Kuch Hota Hai main theme. And when they inserted it into this film too, it just couldn´t get any worse.... I usually don´t mind mentions of other films and such, but here Karan was celebrating his own film, and that is cringeworthy to say the least. The visuals are terrible. When Yash Chopra makes an imaginary, utopistic clean world for his characters to live in, it is all just a background for feelings and there is honesty in his films. Karan Johar overwhelms you (and makes you practically sick) with the sheer opulence, that is kind of falling on you and you suffocate under it. The visuals are MEANT to overwhelm you. They are not a part of the story at all (as it is the case with Bhansali´s films). They are simply there and make you uneasy. And when a choir of English kids starts singing Indian anthemn, the patriotism is so forced down your throat it´s hard not to be almost physically sick. And just in case you are not moved enough, they will show you a disabled girl smiling happily during that.

Not moving, not appealing, not honest, not even cheesy. A cringeworthy documentary on „How to weep annoyingly and steadily“.

Weeping.

Weeping.

Weeping.

Weeping.

Weeping.

Weeping.

"Can we stop weeping now, please?"

Silsila

Directed by: Yash Chopra

Starring: Amitabh Bachchan, Jaya Bachchan, Rekha, Sanjeev Kumar, Shashi Kapoor

Released: 1981

Shekar (Shashi Kapoor) is an army officer. Brave and disciplined while in uniform, unruly and almost childish out of it. He loves to spend his days with his head resting in the lap of Shobha (Jaya Bachchan), the girl he loves, planning their future together. And in the evening he likes to drink and be merry. Meanwhile his brother Amit (Amitabh Bachchan), a play-writer, actor and poet falls under a spell of Chandni (Rekha), a fresh and beautiful girl whom he saw dancing at his friend´s wedding. Sending her flowers and cassetes with his own voice, expressing all the gentle feelings she has woken up in his heart, he slowly wins her over. Just like his brother Amit now plans to get married. But then like a bolt out of the blue comes devastating news: Shekar has perished while on army mission. And it also turns out Shobha is pregnant with his child.

Amit decides to sacrifice his love for the sake of his brother´s fiancé and marries her, sending a message to Chandni that she better forget him. But even though he has the best will to make Shobha happy, neither him nor her are capable of being so. After they are involved in a car accident Shobha looses her unborn child and not both she and Amit are really desperate, because they find themselves trapped in a marriage without love and reason. While in hospital Amit meets Chandni again. She got married to a nice, honest doctor (Sanjeev Kumar), but does not really care for his feelings for her. On the contrary – the old love between her and Amit is rekindled and after a while they both succumb to their desires. However together with their passionate and secret affair comes carelessness and neither Shobha, who has learned to love her husband, neither Chandni´s spouse are blind. . .

Amitabh and Jaya. Falling asleep just seeing them.

I must admit that had it not been for the controversy related to this film I probably wouldn´t be even interested in watching it. Silsila, translated as „Affair“, came to the theaters at the time when the rumours and gossips were on about the alleged secret relationship between Amitbh Bachchan and Rekha. But not even this tidbit managed to lure enough audience and the film flopped. But this is Yash Chopra film and box office collections are not important for those, and just like Lamhe that flopped ten years later, Silsila is today among the revered classics.

The greatest strenght of the film is really powerful starcast. All the actors put a really honest work into their performances. Amitabh Bachchan, who has the meatiest role, is completely natural. Jaya an Rekha both compliment him. Sadly, even though Rekha is unarguable better actress, she does not have much to do except for looking sad and beautiful. Still her presence is strongly felt in every scene, and she does not even have to speak. Her dark gaze is enough to do the magic. I have never been a Jaya fan, she still yet has to convince me, but yes, she was good here, though not lovable despite being „the good one“. Interestingly enough there is much more on-screen chemistry going on between Big B and Rekha then Big B and Jaya.

Amitabh and Rekha - hell yeah!

The script deserves a credit for presenting well the points of view of all the characters and making one feel the pain they all go through. Silsila telling a story about extra-marital affair could have easily become a hysterical, sobbing and whining cliché with evil mistress and poor wife, but it did not. The story is told very sensitively and in the end you feel sorry for all the characters, which is quite rare. The most interesting message is that as long as something is forbidden, it may seem sweet and desirable, but as soon as it is permitted, it looses the charm and problems, not perceived before, emerge from the shadows.

My greatest problem with Silsila was incredibly slow pace of the film. It really gets boring at times. Not even several exciting-ish moments (will they catch them together/ will they not ) do not help and I kept staring at the timeline wishing it was finished already. And when the message at the end appeared – I wanted to die. „Love is faith and faith is forever“. Really? Like seriously? What the..... Songs are good and beautifully picturized, all bearing the uncanny Yash Chopra signature. Throw some plus points in for Amitabh Bachchan reciting poetry truly beautifully. When you´re in a mood for not-that-typical romance without much excitement, you can watch Silsila, even though you will, like me, probably only look for some secret signs happening between Big B and splendid Rekha.