Though we can doubt Ajay Devgn´s good taste when it comes to atrocious Hinglish title (which could very easily turn into a nice Mein, Tum aur Hum), his ambition to stamp his authority on all branches of cinema is nothing to be dismissed easily. U Me aur Hum is a proof of this. From direction, to acting as the male lead, scripting the story and production he has the power over all, the film apparently being a cherished baby of his. However though giving it absolutely all (including his own wife), this off-spring does not turn out what the parent has once imagined.
It all starts highly simply. Ajay meets Piya (Kajol) on a lavish sea cruise and it is a love at first sight for him, while she finds him kinda creepy. To win her over Ajay chooses one of the safest ways – he reads her scrapbook/diary and immediately takes advantage of knowing her preferences – without being told. And isn´t every girl´s dream to find a guy who can read your every wish in your eyes? So Ajay turns a dog-lover, a dance champion and many others things in mere days, in spite of never being a single of those things before boarding the ship. But his love is true, you see, and finally he confesses to his deed to Piya, who is naturally very disappointed and asks him to leave. He does, but makes her promise to think about their relationship and leaves her his phone number. It takes some time, but because this is a love story movie she of course calls. And they get married. Just like that. Ther life could not be more happy actually. True, Piya gets rather forgetful, but otherwise nothing spoils the joy, especially when she gets pregnant.
"I luv uuuuuu!"
"Creepy is the new sexy."
But what if a mere forgetful was to turn out to be an a slowly advancing Alzheimer? Because that actually is what her occasional, but still more frequent and serious blank outs of memory are. And even thought you have suspected nothing something is wrong, this definitely comes as a nasty surprise. Up until that moment a highly boring film speeds up and I had to witness Kajol forgetting the most basic things. That she is married. That she is pregnant. That she has given birth. That her baby in in the tub full of water!!! Her black outs get more and more serious and scary as the disease is rapidly progressing. And there is more uneasy to watch stuff in store. Ajay suffering. Ajay admitting his wife into a medical center. Ajay wanting to take her home again. Kajol screaming. Kajol screeching. Kajol crying. Ajay weeping. You can be 100 % sure you shall feel next to physically sick by the end of the film – that ironically (and illogically) returns to the blissful pinky coloured mood of the beginning.
To watch this woman loosing her mind at times was just too painful.
More then sad I found the movie incredibly disturbing, and that in a very unpleasant manner. The great performances by both Ajay and Kajol, and equally as great Divya Dutta and Sumeet Raghavan in supporting roles, nothing could justify for me the terrible pointlessness of the suffering described. Don´t get me wrong - I think they did a very good job portraying such a serious illness (though I´m sure some of it was not really accurate), but at times it was all just way too much - especially since the only possible message (of not leaving your loved ones alone when they need you) was rather too subtle and came too late in the film. Several times I considered not finishing the movie not because it would be bad, but because I felt sick watching it. The absolutely unbearable scene is the near drowning child and even though it´s clear the kid survives I could not watch that.
Chalo darling. You have Alzhemeir so let´s admit you into.... an aquarium!
Music was terrible, no plus points there, and the background score during the first hour was annoying.
Performances deserve a high rating, but I could not enjoy this film and I´m sure I don´t want to see it ever again. „Sometimes the greatest journey is the distance of all people“ claims the official motto. And sometimes the greatest distance is between beginning of the film to its end.
I never expect much from remakes, but I´m always giving them a chance. I have seen some good ones over the years, some not good ones but still enjoyable, and some even better then the original. Unfortunatelly „We are family“ doesn´t fit any of those cathegories.
So what have we here? It has been three years since Aman and Maya got divorced, but obviously they are absolutely at ease with each other. They have three children, all healthy, reasonably happy and unreasonably annoying. The idylic life continues up until the moment Shreya falls into it (literally). She is Aman´s girlfriend, and that combined with one ruined birthday cake makes her an evil witch for the children. Unlike Maya she has career ambitions, and though she honestly loves Aman, taking care of his three hyper-sensitive and hysterical children is not her idea of a day spent well. Plus she has no idea how to do so either. So the next thing you know she is left with them all alone for a whole day. She does her best. She cooks for them. She takes them out for an ice-cream. She tries to be friendly. They behave like the worst bunch of spoilt brats (OK – to be fair, this is mostly about the eldest one). And in the end of the day Maya demands that Sherya should never ever be left alone with her innocent little angels (a slap or two once in a while would do them all good!), because she represents danger to them. Why should they get friendly with a person their father loves anyway? And they don´t need another mother. Or do they?
Will you take care of my three annoying kids and over-submissive ex-husband?
Sure. That is my childhood fantasy.
But soon enough Maya finds out that she has cervical cancer. Aman´s immediate reaction is to break up with Shreya, then he moves back in with Maya to ensure children and her will be looked after. But now Maya sees that it just may not be enough.... and she herself asks Shreya to give up her career, all her dreams and come to take her place with completely everything from dressing the three bratty kids in the morning to baking cookies for the family.... I think that most of you already can guess the outcome of the film.
WAF (known among many Bollywood fans more appropriately as WTF) is lame. And if you don´t think it was lame, then you cannot call it anything else but average. And it is also a great example of how a moving story can turn out awkward. I did not understand why it takes place in Australia. There is not ONE reason for that. And I did not understand why Kareena Kapoor got a Supporting actress award, when she is so clearly the main lead. Kareena is the true saving grace of the film. Her character could very easily turn into an unlikeable one, especially seen through traditional Indian eyes. She was „the other woman“. But she managed to be just wonderful and you cannot help but rooting for her in everything she does. There is both subtlety and strength in her character, the whole range of emotions and she approaches the role with a mature understanding. Kajol too does more then well, after all she is one of those actresses who cannot be bad, sadly the script lets her down a big time. There is really not much she can do except slowly fading away – and making herself rather unlikeable with constant jealousy and over-protectiveness.
I promise I´ll do the dishes just gimme one decent dialogue!
Arjun is lost between the two women. Even little Anjali and Ankush take over him when it comes to both screen-time and screen-presence. Which is rather sad, because he is a fine actor and his jodi with Kareena was delightful in the few romantic scenes we were given. His pairing with Kajol though doesn´t work at all. He is not only sidelined, but has really no place in the film, and probably realizes what it was to be a heroine in the 80s (used as an excuse for a plot and then to disappear into oblivion). The children are casted well, if they were meant to be annoying that is. While „Anjali“ and „Ankush“ loose the annoy-me factor througout the film and become cute, „Aleya“ maintains her coldness and over-acting. The two younger kids manage to create some bond with Kajol (Arjun is yet again left out of his own family), but Aleya is completely out of place from beginning to end.
They need a) a book b) a crown c) a tight slap.
The scenes with a potential to be moving are killed off by either 1. over-the-top hysteria, 2. done-to-death dialogues, 3. awful music. The last factor was particularly disturbing. The main theme is lovely to hear once, but it keeps returning again and again without any change to it, and soon enough becomes cringe-worthy. The emotional moments are marked by unforgivably insensitive rock song and do not even get me started at the horrendous Jail House rock remake – both the song and picturization (or the pointlessness of that whole scene. Dying mother wants to show her family that she is fun now. Like really?)
Instead of sobbing heartily I caught myself thinking about the fried chicken with chips about 20 minutes before the end. The artificial, straight-forward tear jerker made me hungry, but definitely not for more.
Arjun Rampal. The modern day version of the 80s Bollywood heroine.
Why ten? Well, the list could easily be longer. But in the end I went with those, that I listen to the most. In the bus, in train during my lengthy traveling from home to university city, before I go to sleep.... Whenever there is an opportunity. These are the songs that actually are so beautiful, that I bothered to look out the best lyrics translations – only to fall in love with them even more knowing what magic there is in the words and not just in melody or singer´s voice. And I really love them for the melody, not picturization, however beautiful it might be. So let´s meet my Top 10 Bollywood songs.
10. Tumse Milke – yes, I know this one is not an original, but simply a Hindi version of „When I need you“. But Tumse Milke has innocence and peace to it, which the original lacks. It seems simpler, less forced, more sensitive. Not to mention the words are more romantic. Sung by Suresh Wadkar and Asha Bhosle, it was picturized on Anil Kapoor and Madhuri Dixit for a film Parinda (1989).
9. Main Agar Kahoon – starting off with gentle, music box tinkeling, this is one of the memorable melodies that made part of a magic for Om Shanti Om (2007). Sonu Nigam and Shreya Ghoshal lent their voices to Shahrukh Khan and Deepika Padukone in this utterly romantic song. Result is a sheer beauty.
8. Dilli – something completely different from any other song in the list. This isn´t romantic, not by a long shot. And it is nothing else but pure rock. And it rocks big time. Main melody for a movie No one killed Jessica (2011) set a high standard for song very early this year and I don´t think there shall be many songs to be better or that would even manage to match it. Sung by Tochi Raina, Shriram Iyer and Aditi Singh Sharma, it can be heard during the opening titles of the film, brilliantly setting the mood.
7. Silsila Ye Chaahat Ka – the first Bollywood song I´ve ever heard. It was the voice that completely amazed me. Shreya Ghoshal has been truly gifted. Composed and made for Bhansali´s Devdas (2002) it was used as an introduction for Aishwarya Rai as one of the main characters. And it was probably her most amazing introduction ever.
6. O Re Piya – best song from a very under-rated soundtrack of a very under-rated film Aaja Nachle (2007). Lyrical, poetical, but full of life. The voice of Rahat Fateh Ali Khan is so powerful and engaging that even though I did not understand the lyrics at first, he presented me with a beautiful story full of beautiful images. The song was partly a background score, used for a flashback sequence.
5. Masha Allah – if I could, I would list the whole soundtrack of Saawariya (2007) in here! Because it is probably the most amazing soundtrack ever. In the end I decided that this song should appear in the list, because it was the first one from the album that I heard and immediately was enchanted. Kunal Gajawala with a help of not-enough-praised Shreya Ghoshal sung for Ranbir Kapoor and Sonam Kapoor, as the two were escaping each other in a dreamy, blue world...
4. Pyar Kiya To Darna Kya – maybe it is the most famous Bollywood song ever. And it has reason. It is simply brilliant. Re-written countless times, it was chiseled out to perfection. Picturized on Madhubala, the song was brought to life by Lata Mangeshkar and it is in my opinion by far her best piece ever. The soft melody grows more and more demanding by a second, until it fills you with an indescribable excitement.
3. Maar Daala – the ultimate mujra song. Try to forget for a moment about Madhuri Dixit being beyond words in it (hard, I know) and enjoy the longing, love and beauty of the piece. Brilliant voice of Kavita Krishnamurthy singing absolutely heavenly words will send shivers down your spine. Devdas (2002), just like Saawariya, was simply full of wonderful music.
2. Mere Haath Mein – Sonu Nigam has become my favourite Bollywood singer ever with this song. And Sunidhi Chauhan matched him here without a fail. Amazing, amazing, amazing. I don´t have words to really express what I feel while listening to the song. And the lyrics... oh my.... leave me longing for love... and more love.... just like Aamir Khan and Kajol in Fanaa (2006)!
1. Kismat Se Tum – my favourite Hindi song ever. Composed by the great A.R.Rahman it once again made Sonu Nigam touch my heart. The female vocals were taken care of by Anuradha Pauwal. And yet again the lyrics are indescribably beautiful. And so is everything about the song. From the gentle background singers humming to the clear sound of a flute, everything falls into place and creates a fantasy really. Anil Kapoor and Madhuri Dixit were the lucky ones, who could present the magic to the audience in a film Pukar (2000).
I hate you with passion. Because what you do is that you thrust your greedy hand into people´s chest, you rip their hearts out and then you dance tango over them in tapping shoes. You want them to cry. You want them to cry a LOT. You don´t want to give them anything. You only want to take. While your venture with Kuch Kuch Hota Hai was watchable and Kal Ho Naa Ho quite fun thanks to Saif Ali Khan, your atrocious Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham is the best example of a commercial crap that forces out tears, tears and more tears under a pretext of being a film about family values.
Worst regards
Not-ever-yours Hater.“
I have seen films that bored me to death. I have seen films that made me angry with sheer stupidity. I have seen films that left me utterly confused. K3G 1.) bored me to death 2.) made me angry with sheer stupidity 3.) left me utterly confused PLUS 4.) made me hate Karan Johar and Jaya Bachchan. Why did I watch it then? Because it sadly is one of the most famous films of the past decade and even more sadly it is hugely popular. I can positively say that the films I´ve seen so far and hated had at least one redeeming quality to them. But this has NOTHING, nothing at ALL!!! The story itself is not bad, though not the most exciting or original ever (that wouldn´t bother me one bit). The script though is TERRIBLE, performances bellow average at their best and direction shows a lazy approach with one aim only – to make a hit film. Not a film for someone. Film for money! That is what makes Karan Johar stand out among other directors. His unashamed hunger for commercial success. And he will use anything to get it. I don´t even know where to start with all the bashing of this waste of celluloid!
Amitabh Bachchan plays an elderly father of a family, that consists of his wife (Jaya Bachchan) and two sons, adopted Rahul (yeah yeah.... Shahrukh and who else. They run out of names for him a long time ago) and their own Rohan (some fat kiddo, then Hrithik Roshan). They are a PERFECT family. And I mean PERFECT (aka they have larger than life photos of themselves everywhere, including one really freaky family portrait). They love each other, they celebrate Diwalis in STYLE and they are DISGUSTINGLY rich. Their house was apparently imported from England and used to be a castle. They don´t usually use cars (those are apparently for poor), they prefer helicopters, and they have a garden of a size of central China. But then Rahul falls in love with a poor girl Anjali (Kajol). BOOM BOOM BOOM!!! Thunder strikes and it signifies Amitabh Bachchan is not amused. After Rahul hears out some abuses on the adress of a girl he loves, he does what every perfect son would – he begs on his knees for forgiveness. But duh! Anjali just lost her father. And so instead of dumping her Rahul marries her. BOOM BOOM BOOM!!! Amitabh Bachchan is like seriously pissed. So he says that from now on Rahul should get out. And Rahul goes. And because obviously India is way too small, he settles down in London. There his wife gets birth to a son and next ten years spends with xenophobic ranting against everything even remotely English. With them lives also Anjali´s younger sister Pooja (Kareena Kapoor), who grows up into a Paris Hilton-ish airhead and with her equally stupid friends rules the college. But then her heart is stricken with love as soon as a MUSCULAR guy gets out of his fancy red car. YEAH! Rohan, Rahul´s younger brother, lost the baby fat (but he still cannot do his shoe-laces) and now he set out to unite his family. And the best way to do so is to pretend you are a complete stranger and sneak into Rahul´s home. Wah Wah. Kya planning hai! By this time I was really thinking about killing myself and only finished the film because I found fascinating how BAD it actually was.
Absolutely typical Indian home.
Karan Johar says that „It is all about loving your parents“, but the film says that it is all about endless whining, weeping, sobbing, crying and being miserable. They are still talking about how they love each other, but NOBODY does ANYTHING to show that love. No. They prefer to call you a disgrace (Amitabh), sulk in London for ten years (Shahrukh), emotionally blackmail everyone (Hrithik) or bulging eyes while silently crying (Jaya). There is absolutely no love going on on the screen. You cannot feel any emotions. All the actors are like in their own vacuum, where they act, and they just happen to be in one frame together. There is nothing that could be called an interaction. Amitabh is highly unlikable as a stubborn aging father who loves his authority more then his family. Jaya Bachchan getting an award for looking retarded most of the time is an insult. Shahrukh Khan is looking unforgivably sexy, but is so clean and sweet and perfect that even he was a sore to look at after all that whining! Kajol, whom I finally started to like more then just tolerating her presence on screen, is made to behave like a drunken twit (I shall never forgive Karan for this). And since I am among the minority who does not really see what is THAT special about them, their jodi does not save anything for me. Rani is decent and wasted and forgettable. Hrithik is a goody goody with muscles and that´s where it ends. Kareena had no importance in the story at all.
Music, except for two songs, is very average. And there is one more thing about Karan Johar´s films: the main theme shall repeat again...and again.... and again..... until you feel like kicking into something every time it appears. I had the same problem with Kuch Kuch Hota Hai main theme. And when they inserted it into this film too, it just couldn´t get any worse.... I usually don´t mind mentions of other films and such, but here Karan was celebrating his own film, and that is cringeworthy to say the least. The visuals are terrible. When Yash Chopra makes an imaginary, utopistic clean world for his characters to live in, it is all just a background for feelings and there is honesty in his films. Karan Johar overwhelms you (and makes you practically sick) with the sheer opulence, that is kind of falling on you and you suffocate under it. The visuals are MEANT to overwhelm you. They are not a part of the story at all (as it is the case with Bhansali´s films). They are simply there and make you uneasy. And when a choir of English kids starts singing Indian anthemn, the patriotism is so forced down your throat it´s hard not to be almost physically sick. And just in case you are not moved enough, they will show you a disabled girl smiling happily during that.
Not moving, not appealing, not honest, not even cheesy. A cringeworthy documentary on „How to weep annoyingly and steadily“.
This film reminded me of something. I could not quite put my figer on it. But from the very start I had a feeling I have seen something similar, if not the same, before..... And only when it ended I realized it was one big mixture of DDLJ, Raja Hindustani, Fiza and Esmeralda (the first three being Bollywood movies, the last one a sickly sweet Venezuelan telenovela that plagued our screens several years back).
So we have Zooni, a simple, nice Kashmiri girl in love with her country. She is also in love with her dreams about the yet unknown to her Mr. Right. And she is played by Kajol, who doesn´t look a day older then what she did in DDLJ. So in result Zooni is actually Simran – with one difference only: she is blind (Esmeraldaaaaaa...... Esmeraldaaaaaa....lalala). After some convincing her parents decide they can let her go with her friends to go to Delhi and perform like a dance troupe in a ceremony for Independence Day. And since they are going to spend several days in the city, and they don´t want to just aimlessly walk around, they hire a tourist guide Rehan. And so Aamir Khan enters the film, lying lazily on his back and with an arrogant do-not-disturb attitude (that is the moment Pardesi Pardesi starts automatically playing in your ears). And guess what. He and Zooni fall in love almost immediately. Nothing wrong with that, but I must confess that I don´t find Kajol someone, who can stun you at the first sight with her appearance, and so it would have been better for me if Rehan actually took at least a little time before falling in love. Their bonding afterwards is done well, with Zooni leaving with him for a private sightseeing, him watching her performance with the dance troupe (in that song Kajol DID look beautiful) and finally getting drenched in the rain together and spending the night sharing a cot in not so completely innocent way. But by that time it is clear Rehan may not be who he seems (to the viewer, Kajol remains blissfully unaware). He receives a disturbing number of calls nobody talks about and he also occasionally mumbles something about himself not believing in romance, obviously trying (but not that hard as he could I must say) to shake off Zooni´s spell.
Best Kajol pairing - why couldn´t we see it before?
The love obviously cannot wait even for few days, and so Zooni makes a phone call to her parents that she fell in love and will be getting married. Oh, and by the way Rehan took her to a doctor (which obviously nobody else did before) and it seems she can be operated immediately (I want this kind of hospitals in my country!), after which she will regain her eye-sight! She undergoes the operation and when she finally opens her eyes, her parents are there, but Rehan isn´t. And the first thing they ask her to do is to identify the remains of a victim just killed in a bomb attack on a government building. And yes, she recognizes the sweater she made for Rehan herself.....
Something smells funny, nah? Especially because one remembers those mysterious signs pointing out that Rehan just may not be Rehan the poetry-loving tourist guide after all, and also because he is played by Aamir and you are just now in the middle of the film. While the first half is beautifully romantic and colourful, the second leaves the whole romance altogether and it turns into an attempt on a thriller. There are too many twists and turns to be described, but you can count on some not that exciting action scenes, some misplaced patriotism and an „unexpected“ reunion of the two main characters after years. And just like we have seen it in „Julie“, first sex equals to immediate pregnancy, so you can expect a mini-Rehan, who will give you some cheesy and annoying lines about trust and so on.
Knock, knock!
"DAMN!"
The film worked, especially the first part, mainly because of capable handling of the characters by the cast. The highlight is Kajol, who fits well into her Simran-mode, but her Zooni is more mature then Simran and also doesn´t have any pride. In the second half her role is, sadly, stripped of any real action (till the very end), but still she is the one who keeps the soul of Fanaa alive. Aamir is a good choice for Rehan, but one cannot help the feeling that the character is either badly written or wrongly understood by the actor. The best aspect about Aamir´s casting is his undeniable chemistry with Kajol, that for me is thousand times better then the one she reportedly shares with SRK. Who pleasantly surprised me was Rishi Kapoor. The fat guy in ridiculous sweaters romancing petite young girls disappeared and transformed into a big-hearted father – a role I completely loved him in. Tabu was a complete miscast. Her role had nothing to offer her and she was, honestly, rather unconvincing. The kid was terribly annoying. So yeah, it was mainly Kajol who found the best way among all the plot holes and at times rather bizzare situations that simply happen for the sake of something happening (even though I found her putting together bits of photos to create „Rehan´s“ face during her years of loneliness a big WTF moment). Aamir doesn´t raise any sympathy. He never seems to be sure of what he is actually doing, or even why. And he really annoyed me when he killed the only Rishi I ever loved (and the film-makers could have spared us him flowing under the ice. That was both over-creepy and hilarious.).
"Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
"DAMN!"
Here comes my favourite sentence: The visuals were beautiful. Be it sunny Delhi or snowy Kashmir (ehm..... Poland. But at least you cannot really tell from what is shown, unlike in some other movies, that will go to any length to convince you Budapest is actually in Italy.), everything beautifully underlined the scenes and the mood. The soundtrack is nice, with two songs being especially beautiful – both in melody and in picturizations. I have already mentioned Des Rangila, where Kajol dances with her troupe, and the absolute winner is Mere Haath Mein. Special mention goes to rainy Dekho Na. On the other hand Chand Sifarish comes off as rather ordinary and Chanda Chamke should have never seen the light of day.
It is a definite must see for any Kajol fan, and objectively speaking she couldn´t have asked for a better role as her comeback after motherhood. However the next time I want to watch a heroine shooting somebody she loves for the sake of higher good, I will choose Fiza.
The spring has come and with it - the first spring rain! As I listen to the soft music the raindrops are playing behind my windows, I got reminded of all those beautiful rain songs Bollywood has given us. Here are just several of them, that immediatelly came to my mind.... Enjoy! Meanwhile I´m going out. It´s raining. perfect excuse for dancing in the streets......
Koi Ladki Hai is my favourite track from Dil To Pagal Hai, and the picturization is gorgeous as well. The ultimate rain song - in the rain and about rain. With the gait of a horse, with the majesty of an elephant, oh king of the rains, where do you come from?
Arguably one of the most beautiful melodies ever composed by A.R.Rehman, used in Subhash Ghai´s movie Taal. And when you ad perfectly gorgeous Aishwarya Rai to it, the result is nothing less then perfect.
Something little older: Megha Re Megha from Yash Chopra´s classic Lamhe. Beautiful Sridevi casts her spell not only Anil Kapoor, but all the viewers.
Dekho Na from 2006 movie Fanaa is a perfect romantic rain song. And if you have somebody like Aamir Khan romancing you, who would resist?
And finally a song that I personally listen to whenever I get a little sad. Because the joy springing from the lyrics, the melody and the dancer is just so pure! This song, of Madhuri Dixit´s "forgotten" dances, was featured in movie Maha Sangram from 1990.
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