The big 2011 overview

2011 was kinda meh for Bollywood. True enough, there were blockbusters, there were expectations, there were hypes and there were big stars shining. But overal the quality/entertainment level of the films was rather low, performances except for few nothing amazing and music was mostly forgettable. During the year I watched exactly 157 movies, out of which only 35 were 2011 releases (as I write I am still yet to watch The Dirty Picture and several more films like Shaitaan or Shor in the city).

The year started for me with No one killed Jessica, followed by the Deol opus Yamla Pagla Deewana. I have tried to give a chance to Dil Toh Bachcha Hai Ji – and you can read in this article how it ended. Next on the list was a film that sounded interesting...

Directed by: Kiran Rao
Starring: Aamir Khan, Prateik Babbar, Monica Dogra


The last of the January releases I chose to sit through was Aamir Khan´s Dhobi Ghat....It is not a bad film... but nothing that I would label good either. Somehow it refuses to fit into such cathegories.  There is not much of a story and ending is apparently missing. I did like the overall atmosphere though, without ever being to Mumbai or India it engulfed me and let me with an illusion I actually, for a few minutes, understood. All other three actors (playing Shai, Munna and Yasmine) were great. Especially "Yasmine" touched me. In fact her "letters" were the most interesting and engaging part of the movie. Until Aamir discovers them, nothing makes much sense really. As for Mr. Perfectionist himself, he disappoints big time. Maybe because one would actually expect him to act, not just smoke and watch TV.

Directed by: Nikhil Advani
Starring: Akshay Kumar, Rishi Kapoor, Anushka Sharma, Dimple Kapadia


As February came it was Akshay Kumar´s turn to arrive on the screen with his first release of the year called Patiala House (just another in a long list of English titles that decorated the posters in 2011 – from already mentioned No one killed Jessica to Ready, Rockstar, Rascals, Desi Boyz and of course The Dirty picture just to mention a few). A heck lot of nonsense and unrealistic conspiring almost completely killed off a promising family drama with decent performances – notably from Rishi Kapoor AND Akshay himself, who has laid off his comedy king image for a while and regained some of the respect as an ACTOR (only to loose it again few weeks later.....). The film  didn´t really give me anything, but it captured some part of human relations well. Especially loved how everybody was urging Akshay to stand up to his father, but when he did they were all cowards and nobody supported him. How very human.

Right behind Akshay it was Priyanka Chopra´s first 2011 release 7 Khoon Maaf that hurriedly followed. It flopped. But to me it was one of the best films of the year, even though I´m aware that is a rather unpopular opinion. If nothing Priyanka truly impressed me – unlike her co-star from Fashion Kangana Ranaut, who messed up completely in Tanu weds Manu. It is truly unfortunate when a lead actress is the greatest weakness of otherwise enjoyable movie. March did not bring any great pleasant surprises either. You can read here what I thought of some of the releases, however one of the films originally scheduled for March I´ve only managed to watch much later, so it is missing from the article.

Directed by: Rohan Sippy
Starring: Abhishek Bachchan, Bipasha Basu, Aditya Pancholi, Prateik Babbar, Govind Nameo


Now this is a movie definitely worth seeing. I really liked the way the narrative was done in the first part, the editing was very clever and in spite of various flashbacks not confusing at all. Performances are very good from everybody, but Abhishek is a miscast. Not because he would act badly, but because he is plain boring in the cop roles. Boring boring boring. It was during his scenes that the film would occasionally run short of breath. The guy needs to stop being a cop or a cool dude or a cool cop which is what he´s been trying to make his niché of, and find something else soon. Basically everybody else was more interesting. Deepika´s item number, which was so heavily propagated, is completely useless and not even well shot. Showstealer is none other than Aditya Pancholi, whom I used to hate in his 90s movies, but is growing on me more with advancing time.

Together with Dum Maro Dum Lara Dutta´s heartwarming, uncomplicated Chalo Dilli was the saving grace of April, which was also the month responsible for possibly the WORST of all 2011 releases. Yes, I´m talking of none other than Thank you, an Anees Bazmi film that could be used anywhere in the world as an example of how not to do cinema. Fortunately the month of May was more merciful enough to wipe Thank you and Anees Bazmi from my mind, even if only for a while. One of the best movies of the year was for me Stanley Ka Dabba. Rather unglamorous title is hiding a heartwarming, moving story, so full of love for life! Speaking about love, I´ve quite enjoyed two romantic comedies released the same month.

Directed by: Bumpy
Starring: Sraddha Kapoor, Taaha Shah


I loved the girl! She had so much energy and I think she´s REALLY talented. She emoted terribly well. Plus she has nice voice. Plus she looks good. The pace it´s even throughout the film, it doesn´t slow down, it´s never boring. The music is catchy. And from beginning to end there was no place for any unrelated subplots that would slow it down. The special appearance by Ali Zafar, however brief, was a VERY pleasant surprise... However the revenge the girl took was far too drastic and violent for my taste. I would have preferred something more subtle. Also the use of swearing words was completely unnecesarry. Overally I really enjoyed this, even though sometimes against better judgement.

Directed by: S. Manasvi
Starring: Tusshar Kapoor, Amrita Rao


Lot less impressive than Luv Ka The End, rather nice, "normal" film. Nothing wrong with it. Nothing outstanding in it. Some clichés, some plotholes, more clichés. No surprises, no big twists. Watching it however I realized how much I miss intensity in romantic films like this. There used to be so much intense emotions in older films about young people. Now... it´s just not there. Sad. Amrita Rao looks gorgeous and acts well, I wonder why is she seen so little and why is she not sought out for projects with actors like Imran Khan, Ranbir Kapoor? Instead she is stuck with Tusshar, who acts OK and has a charisma of a banana peel.

Directed by: Sunny Bhambhani
Starring: Sahil Mehta, Mannat Ravi, Vikay Katyal, Priyam Galav


And on a love note we have breezed into the month of June, riding the Love Express with a debutant director and debutant actors in four main leads. A simple story about two days spent in a train filled with two families going for a wedding, while the engaged couple is just not interested in each other, and trying to find a way out of the planned relationship. Perhaps predictable, but very sweet, and although one wasn´t exactly having fits of laughter, I had a smile plastered on my face throughout.

However at this content moment Anees Bazmi decided to attack again, even more agressively than before with the mess called Ready, for which I definitely was not ready. Salman Khan  not acting while Asin was being wasted and everybody swinging their hips in a terrible choreography while the unbearable Dhinka Chika was screaming from the amplions was more than I could digest. And the trend of lame comedies did not end there. Indra Kumar served us his Double Dhamaal (review coming eventually) and had us questioning our own intelligence once again. The two films releasing on the same day - 1st July, were both heavily propagated and especially the second one raise a lot of questions, expectations and curiosity. But before that just a few words about the first one.

Directed by: Puri Jagannath
Starring: Amitabh Bachchan, Hema Malini, Sonu Sood


I didn´t really know how to watch this, how to treat this. I did get it was supposed to be a overview of sorts, a tribute to the body of work of Amitabh Bachchan, bringing out of the wardrobe his image of an angry young man.... with the difference this was an angry old man. And somehow, angry old men are not cool. And wearing what Big B was in the film, the way he behaved, made the character completely cringeworthy. None of the storylines did really capture my attention or stood out. One of those films I have forgotten as soon as they ended.

Directed by: Abhinay Deo
Starring: Imran Khan, Vir Das, Kunaal Roy Kapur


Shit happens. Yeah, it does. I was not sure what to expect from this one either. I thought that I will be either hilariously entertained or utterly disgusted (the promos suggested the latter). Well, the film surprised - I was neither. In fact I don´t recall a film that would leave me so completely unmoved (into any direction). Several times I smiled. Several times I didn´t like what I saw. Overally the film seemed like a background score for me thinking about completely different things! Imran suffers the fate of Aamir in 3 Idiots - meaning he is completely overshadowed by his two friends, who steal the show and actually provide the laughter. I cannot help but shake my head in disbelief over the claims this is a movie that shall take Bollywood into a new direction. There really was nothing that revolutionary or different from other half mindless half witty comedies, except for the overuse of swearing language, which by the way has no point, and it´s offensive for the pure sake of being offensive. It doesn´t hurt to see the film, but it´s nothing not-to-be-missed either. The best thing about it is actually a quick pace and quick changes of situations.

After Stanley Ka Dabba another movie that really impressed me was highly praised Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara (where for the first time I ever I did not feel the need to strangle Katrina Kaif on the spot). However Ajay Devgn´s Sigham (review coming eventually) left me mostly unimpressed from a single reason only – throughout the movie I´ve had a feeling I have seen it all. Just last year in Dabangg. There was hardly anything different about it. And July was ended on a very low note with an attempt at historical drama that went just all wrong. Gandhi to Hitler can be considered the biggest joke the filmmakers played on us last year, at least I hope it was meant to be a joke. And then June turned into July.

Directed by: Prakash Jha
Starring: Amitabh Bachchan, Saif Ali Khan, Deepika Padukone


I liked this. Well, not all, but most of it. My liking doesn´t really have much to do with the cast or performances (which were all good), more with the topic and me being a university student just realizing how great business education really can be. In fact there were several lines in the films I´m definitely noting down, because there was so much blunt truth in them. Aarakshan is basically a one man show and that one man is this time charismatic and not ridiculous Amitabh Bachchan. Saif goes out of mind as soon as he leaves the screen. Deepika has great expressions. All she needs to work on is the intensity of her voice and some modulation, but she proved again to be my dark horse for the future years. First part was more tight and exciting then the second and to cut the film´s length down to 2 hours would have been a good idea as well.

And then of course Bodyguard came along.

Directed by: Siddique
Starring: Salman Khan, Kareena Kapoor


Blockbuster after just few days, it was promoted as an epic love story that gives Kareena Kapoor her best role ever and Salman Bhai bhi. If there is one thing that I loved, really, really loved, it was Teri Meri. That song is awesome, full of feeling, very dramatic and yet not over the top. The picturization was good too, though Salman did way too much unnecessary running. I´m not going to say he cannot act, that wouldn´t be true as he used to act in good old days, but past few years he really doesn´t bother at all. Kareena, whom I learned to adore on screen, acts, but has nothing to work with really. Other characters are so completely sidelined it´s not even worthy talking about them, and poor villains had TWO scenes.... The fat guy trying his luck at being the new Johnny Lever annoyed the heck out of me, though I agree I loved his T-shirts stating "Six pack coming soon" and "Looking good is not a crime". The two main characters are very poorly drawn and basically boring, they don´t really go through any development - and neither does their relationship. In fact I still keep wondering where did the love came from? And similarly so I couldn´t feel for them as a couple, because the script and story simply didn´t give me a chance to feel for them, feel their love, nothing. The action was ridiculous. I can take a lot, but there is limit to everything. Way too many cheap computer effects. It was definitely better then Salman´s previous release Ready, but very overrated as far as box office goes still.

The second half of the year was considerably better, even if it held some real crap together with real gems. The better times were heralded by sweet, simple, predictable, but still highly entertaining Mere Brother Ki Dulhan (review coming eventually), which in spite of starring Imran Khan and Katrina Kaif in the leads (none of them being a mind-blowing performers) was pleasant to watch. At the other end of movie entertainment John Abraham´s Force gave us some serious chills as well as the most menacing new villains and in yet a different field Shahid Kapoor tried to sell his romance with Sonam Kapoor titled Mausam (review coming eventually) to the audience – unfortunatelly and deservingly he did not succeed. However by that time, having a Double Dhamaal hangover, Sanjay Dutt has sent his new baby into the world as well....

Directed by: David Dhawan
Starring: Sanjay Dutt, Ajay Devgn, Kangana Ranaut


Throughout I kept having Deewana Mastana flashbacks, however one would be looking for the same light-heartedness, same charm or level of performances in vain in Rascals. Sanjay and Ajay were wasted, which is sad, because they really work as a male jodi and both have great comic timing. However the OTT acting is not Ajay´s cup of chai at all. Kangana needs to stop doing comedies right NOW! She was awful from beginning to end. She did not share any chemistry whatsoever with either of the two main protagonists, so even their pursue of her was not really interesting to watch. I did not like at all the way women were portraited, if that is even the word for nothing but a vulgar flesh show. Sanjay Dutt should either stop criticizing actresses for what they wear or stop producing films like Rascals. The film is also a proof that David Dhawan has completely lost his touch.

I am no fan of romantic comedies, even less of teenage romantic comedies, and although I liked Luv Ka the End, it is really an exception. Because of that I was quite surprised that another film of the same genre was pleasant as well.

Directed by: Nupur Ashtana
Starring: Saqib Saleem, Saba Azad


With romantic teenage comedies it is never really about story, but about concept and form, the way the script is presented. MFK is presented well. Not as energic as Luv ka the end, not as funny either, but unlike Luv Ka The End, it has a nice romantic feel, nothing goes over the top. The performances are all natural and pleasant, music, though not groundbreaking ads nice atmosphere. A good timepass.

After MFK I watched mostly older movies, waiting for more new DVDs to come out, and trying luck with several more new films. However My neither Friend Pinto nor Tell me o Khudda or Always Kabhi Kabhie held my interest for longer than 15 minutes and so I really don´t have much to say about them, except maybe that Esha Deol totally falls into the clichéd cathegory of untalented star children. Sadly enough Shahrukh Khan, whom I love so much, did not really impress me (or anyone really) with his heavily promoted Ra.One (review coming eventually), but he got back on the right track later with Don 2 (of course full review is in store). However not even he gave a better performance than Ranbir Kapoor in Rockstar (a long review so coming soon), that for me became not only the most intense love story of the year – and the best film of the year, but also a modern days classic. As I have said at the very beginning, I have not yet seen The Dirty picture, and so here got the  last two films I´m going to mention in here.

Directed by: Maneesh Sharma
Starring: Anushka Sharma, Ranveer Singh, Parineeti Chopra, Aditi Sharma Dipannita Sharma



LVRB takes place in some weird alternative reality where Ranveer Singh is for every girl an irresistable sexy beast and from that moment on I was a bit wary because I find him neither handsome nor hot, or even interesting. The casting of the girls was much more spot on from demure Aditi to loud-nouted Parineeti, and of course very natural Anushka. Somehow however, Anushka did not matter to me in the movie. I couldn´t care less for her feelings and actually enjoyed the three other ladies in the first half of the movie much much more. Anushka´s entry into the film however, is brilliant. The story gets rather boring in the second half and climax is predictable, though not completely justified. I truly didn´t see where the love was supposed to come from or how, in matter of few days, it could have changed one´s personality completely. Ranveer has not much to work with really, except walking around showing off his body and being supposedly sexy. He was much less impressive than in BBB. His pairing with Anushka is highly praised all over the place, but to be honest they do not really "do it" for me. Music was blah, choreography bad. An OK film, but not much more than that.

Directed by: Rohit Dhawan
Starring: Akshay Kumar, John Abraham, Deepika Padukone, Chitrangda Singh


For me personally the most enjoyable comedy of the whole 2011. In spite of the things that kinda sucked, it was still so enjoyable and fun! What I truly appreciated was the absence of cheap and vulgar jokes that are such a rage these days, and even though there definitely are several "sex related" scenes the soul of the film remains quite innocent. The highlight performances for me were John (whose comedy had me in splits), Anupam Kher (whose every scene had me in splits) and Deepika (who just really needs to work more on her dialogue delivery, but looks drop dead gorgeous and acts brilliantly in several scenes and is good in the rest). Chitrangda looks beautiful and does well in whatever she´s given, but I did not like her character, that indeed seemed somehow desperate and well, unneccessarily horny. I´m not really a fan of Akshay´s, but he was fine - and his "job interview" was perfect. Sanjay Dutt looked really bad and apparently the composers can take a rest while writing music while he´s on screen because they can always throw Khalnayak main theme out there and everyone is happy. The emotional scenes were unimpressive.

So that was the year 2011 in Bollywood through my eyes. Thank you if you managed to read through this loooong post. ;)

Chalo Dilli

Directed by: Shashant Shah

Starring: Lara Dutta, Vinay Pathak

Released: 2011

One of the better films of the first half of 2011, and at the time I watched it (spring 2011) after 7 Khoon Maaf also the first which I watched at one go without looking at the timeline (which actually seems quite rare these days). It is a small film about small people who encounter trouble – that as we learn near the end are either big or small depending on your experience and view of life. Quite unusual for a Bollywood film it doesn´t have a love twist and the leading pair is not romantically involved at all (though they share a wonderful chemistry).

We have two characters who could not be more different – and I mean that to the extreme. Mihika is a drop dead gorgeous Senior Vice President of a top multinational Financial Institution in Mumbai. She is highly ambitious, extremely professional and confident and strictly demands the same level of professionalism not only from her employees, but apparently also from the whole world. Her own world works the way she likes it. Everything is organized, planned, punctual and most importantly clean. She is nothing less but outraged when she misses her flight to Delhi and is compelled to board another, where sadly there is no first class and she is forced to sit beside people from that other world which disgusts her so much. And what more – right next to her is the seemingly worst speciment of that world!

Tujhe dekha to yeh jaana sanam.....

Manu is a chubby, moustached, loud, paan-chewing, gutkaa juice-spitting and sweaty individual who has no qualms of keeping his money notes in the front part of his pants. A rather exaggarated portrayal of a „common Indian“ perhaps? I wouldn´t know. He definitely seemed at times like a caricature, then again I just completely can imagine people like him. Mihika, drinking her important paani, is honestly terrified of his manners. But fate apparently wants to play with her nerves, resistance and even life, because after a series of unfortunate happenings Mihika and Manu find themselves stuck with each other throughout increasingly bizzare situations. And while Manu is trying to cheer his companion up, Mihika only prays the journey will be over soon....

The movie in itself is what I would call a typical road story, where everything is going wrong. In fact, I was just wondering what more can actually go wrong, and I was always showed that the more wrong is actually possible. Only the ending makes the film what it is though, and it is one of the reasons why a viewer shouldn´t ask questions while watching. All will fall into place eventually. The film can get a bit lengthy, especially during the first 40 minutes, but once our two main protagonists board a train there is not one boring minute. Overally predictable i guess, but it is one of those cases you don´t really mind. It definitely doesn´t take anything away from the movie´s charm.

Example of the movie´s BEAUTIFUL cinematography.

I am a huge Vinay Pathak fan. His ordinary, down to earth and unpretentious character of Manu is endearing despite all the habits which may seem purely disgusting. He never overdoes anything, be it the humour or emotions and his timing is flawless. This was the first film in which I´ve seen Lara Dutta in the lead. Previously I´ve only seen her blink and miss cameo in Fanaa and her short role in Billu. She is definitely underrated! She is not only gorgeous, but has a good comic timing and both her anger and her tears are believable. Plus this was definitely not an easy role and she simply nailed it. Mihika could have easily turned out to be a “reformed bitch”, but instead one takes an immediate liking for her in spite of her prejudices. By making a film like Challo Dilli she also took a risk hardly any of the A-list star actresses ever would. And she succeeds. And I can already know she will not get a single award....

WHY is this woman not getting roles opposite the Khans?

Akshay Kumar´s cameo is one of the best ones this year. It comes definitely as a surprise, and though his first appearance has (intentionally which is obvious) the „Khiladi“ feel, he does not become a caricature of himself, as it seems to be so popular in the films these days, but acquires his own identity. His character is highly likeable and Akshay, not trying too hard, as well.

Music doesn´t really stay in mind, but both songs and background score follow the story nicely. From the technical aspects however the best is cinematography. The makers managed to show various faces of both cosmopolitan and rural India in a short span of 2 hours beautifully. Challo Dilli is colourful, but not in the rather eye-soaring way Yashraj sometimes make their films, it really breaths both the hectic life of big cities and peacefulness of the rather deserted areas where time does not move ahead too quickly. True, one would wish the script was more tight, the first 40 minutes more funny, the sickly looking Yana Gupta´s item number was not there and other little things. The film is not perfect, but something tells me that was not even the intention in the first place.

I really enjoyed this one for all its differences from the „usual“ mainstream Bollywood films. Here is a film without a love plot, with a an unattractive elderly (though still brilliant) „hero“, making you think but not preaching. Charming to the core.

Welcome to the Red Tomato hotel.

Why don´t  you just kill me now?

Thank you

Directed by: Anees Bazmee

Starring: Akshay Kumar, Bobby Deol, Sonam Kapoor, Irrfan Khan, Rimi Sen, Suniel Shetty, Celina Jaitley

Released: 2011

I never have great expectations from Anees Bazmee, but he made it to a completely new level of turning me off with „Thank you“. The title itself is good for nothing, as it doesn´t really capture anything the films is about. But maybe that was the aim, because who would watch a film titled for example „Cheating on your partner is fun“ or „Immoral guide how to mislead the gullible females“? Because that is what you should expect if you ever have enough courage to hit the play button of this film.

Bobby, Irrfan and Suniel are three friends, all married (to Sonam, Rimi and Celina respectively) and all ungrateful kaminas, who will not let any opportunity to lift somebody´s skirt pass. Irrfan is the most experienced cheater, while Suniel and Bobby are learning from him. And it is all oh so much fun up until the moment Sonam (I really did not bother to remember the character´s names) starts suspecting something may stink in her little homely paradise. What to do? Her friend Rimi and Celina advice her to hire a detective, who will spy on Bobby and report his findings to her. And thus we are introduced to a saviour of marriages, protector of love, a true Mohabbat-man, Akshay Kumar. And he comes to them with a revelation – their husbands are bored.... What follows is anything but innovative line of women trying to humiliate their husbands and the husbands trying to conceal their affairs and turning against each other in attempts to save their own skin. If there is a humor in there somewhere, I guess I missed it.

The three kaminas

Plot-craters are plenty, music below-average and the moral of the story is either none (the better case) or puke-worthy (So it is OK and fun when husband cheats on his wife, but when a wife cheats on her husband it´s gross and major sin, but it is still the most right thing to do to teach your other half a lesson, after which you both have to forgive and love each other faithfully for the rest of eternity..... what?). And also, since women are just really dumb creatures, they need a man (Akshay) who has never met them before to tell them how to behave. While the thought of forgiving one affair remains an acceptable option (though not in the circumstances presented by the film), who would forgive a notorious cheater, who by the way treated you all your life like a piece of shit?

The three gulliable creatures (commonly reffered to as "women")

Already under water, the ship with the name „Thank you“ sinks even into greater depths of cringe-worthy under the weight of awful performances. Akshay Kumar does his usual with the change of not being funny at all. Irrfan Khan delivers with an ease some kinda funny one-liners, but overall is wasted. Suniel Shetty has more like a blink and miss appearance. Bobby Deol just doesn´t deliver in any department. Celina Jaitley is watchable, though has about ten minutes and ten sentences in the whole movie, Sonam Kapoor proves she cannot act to save her life. Her dialogue delivery is awful, voice modulation non-existent, expressions painfully limited and body language as well. The only saving grace is Rimi Sen, who steal whatever is left to be stolen. She is natural, funny and likeable, though even she looses her identity once the film reaches the climax.

Vulgar, pointless and sexistic, not worthy of first viewing, leave alone the second. The worst film of 2011 for sure.

"Kill the author of this review! Now"

Quickies I.

Just quick takes on several different films.....

FASHION

Directed by: Madhur Bhandarkar
Starring: Priyanka Chopra, Kangana Ranaut, Arbaaz Khan
Released: 2008

This did not look like a Bollywood movie at all..... and it works great, though I must admit it´s not a film I would like to watch again, definitely not the whole thing at one time. Priyanka was brilliant, especially in the second part, looked absolutely fabulous, but I must admit I was even more smitten by Kangana´s performance as Shonali. This was the film that made me love her - and then the love was taken away by Tanu weds Manu and Game.... but here the magic still prevails. As far as her performance goes it was THE EXPERIENCE for me. The movie was really a girl´s show from the beggining to end, though Arbaaz deserves a mention. Sometimes it happens to me, that the three hours, which a is a regular time for Bollywood movies, are just tooooooo damn long. I did not have this feeling during this movie.

It was nice to see Konkona and Ranvir, whom both I love, but let´s face it: that scene was simply good for nothing, because it was not related to the story in any way, hence it didn´t really work even as a special appearance. Music was nice, but nothing much to talk about. No songs. In this particular case thank God for that.

Brilliant movie. Now I need to go and watch Hum Aapke Hain Koun to get me out of depression. Joote Do Paise Lo.....!!!!!!
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WAKE UP SID

Directed by Ayan Mukerji
Starring: Ranbir Kapoor, Konkona Sen Sharma, Anupam Kher
Released: 2009

I had no idea what the plot is, all I knew it has Koko and Ranbir. And they were both just great in this nice, slow and charming movie!!! I thoroughly enjoyed the beggining, because Sid had the same illness as me - procrastination!!!! Pity his friends kinda disappeared after first 30 minutes, but in the end they were really not too important for the story. I really liked the plot - no dramatic over the top situations, just simple tale of a man finally growing up...... and for once the growth of love was understandable, enjoyable and BELIEVABLE!!!

As I already said, Ranbir was great. I love the guy! And Koko is brilliant. I would so love to see her in more movies. She does not have a nice profile, but otherwise she is IMO much more gorgeous then Katrina or Sonam. And her talent is unquestionable.

Very enjoyable movie, that slows down a bit in the second half. The word I would describe it would be "refreshing".
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TAAL

Directed by: Subhash Ghai
Starring: Aishwariya Rai, Akshaye Khanna, Anil Kapoor
Released: 1999

Movie that is anything but exciting. Full of half-baked characters, out of whom only Anil had something that would interest you. But there are definitely some plus poits. One was Aishwarya - I don´t know whatever has happened to her nowdays, but she used to be so adorable! I mean - she was so very natural in this film, it was sheer pleasure to watch her. I´m also a fan of her simple look without much make-up and jewellery, so this worked as well. She danced BEAUTIFULLY. Another plus point was Anil - his acting was a highlight. And then there is BEAUTIFUL title song that is absolutely magical. I loved the picturization as well. In fact the whole soundtrack of Taal can be definitely labeled as one of the best Rahman´s albums. Pity not all the voices used suited Aishwariya...

I was SHOCKED to see Amrish Puri was not a bad guy!!! That is something that just isn´t right...

And I will never understand why Bollywood heroines so often love the most impossible jerks. Akshaye´s character was purely annoying to me (and mind you, I adore Akshaye!). He was just too sure of himself!!! And then he gave away the finale halfway through the film!!! "You will send her to me, she will come out of her own decision...." blah blah blah..... And then to ensure his success in the end he decides to use a CUTE DOG as a weapon!!!! Now that is EMOTIONAL BLACKMAILING!!!!

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MOHRA

Directed by: Rajiv Rai
Starring: Akshay Kumar, Raveena Tandon, Naseeruddin Shah, Suniel Shetty
Released: 1994

The greatest strengh of this movie is the plot no doubt. And it is also (together with the somehow psychotic Naseeruddin Shah) the only saving grace. The first hour was somehow boring and full of WTF (the jail was WTF for sure. No police anywhere in sight, prisoners roaming wherever they wanted to....). I never thought much about Akshay as an actor (thought he looked YUMMY here, never liked him anywhere else), and Raveena too was average. The second part of the film is definitely thrilling and has some good moments, but somehow I have overgrown the totally totally evil evil guys and totally totally good good police officers. Once again the twists in the story were great and unexpected. What I hated was the stolen melody - this time from Jesus Christ Superstar.
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BAABUL

Directed by: Ravi Chopra
Starring: Rani Mukherjee, Amitabh Bachchan, Salman Khan, John Abraham, Hema Malini
Released: 2006

The first 90 minutes were like watching Hum Aapke Hain Koun 2 (except Salman did not look cute, more like silly this time) - all was there from warm family relationships, celebratory songs, wedding, pregnancy......... but the magic of HAHK was not present at all. The second part was nothing but boring and the ending was a bit too quick a bit naive - and also ended up on HAHK note. I really liked Rani though, she was awesome and very believable and also Amitabh gave a good performance. The scenes between him and Rani are the highlits and it is interesting to note that Rani had more chemistry with him then with Salman or John. Those two are easily overshadowed by Rani and Big B. Om Puri and Hema Malini whose characters were IMO quite essential to the story, were unnecceserilly and unforgivably sidelined.

Only worth watching for Rani and her interaction with Amitabh.

How to eat a hero

The gorgeous man-eater

If you should just like that, on the spot, remember some of Madhuri´s male co-stars, the names to spring into your mind will be Shahrukh Khan, Salman Khan, Anil Kapoor, Sanjay Dutt, Aamir Khan and Jackie Shroff. Then you just might remember Mithun Chakraborthy as well as Rishi Kapoor. The truth is that after she completely overruled Anil in Beta (1992) and whenever a film of hers flopped with people saying she was the only good thing in it, she quickly gained a reputation of a woman who tears her co-stars apart and „eats them“. It was said that many actors were apprehensive of acting alongside her, because she was sure to overshadow them. This was a rare quality which, as far as I know, only two other women possessed – Madhubala and Sridevi. Not even Anil, Jackie or Salman for hat matter were saved. I honestly believe she only found a true match as far as screen presence, charisma and skills are concerned in Shahrukh and Aamir. But let´s take a look at some of her lesser known victims.

Tapas Pal was Madhuri´s first hero. Her debut film Abodh was meant to be his entry into Bollywood. He originates from Calcutta and these days he´s into politics, while his co-star, whom he launched (though unsuccessfully) is Bollywood legend. Abodh however turned out to be his first and only film in Hindi. In between 1991-2000 he had no film releases whatsoever, most recently he appeared in a movie „I love you“ from 2007. You cannot really talk about any chemistry between the two actors. Madhuri was too young and too inexperienced, plus the film was about marital misunderstanding. Still they did look well together, and Abodh remains a sweet film thanks to their pairing. They were not even remotely sizzling, but definitely pleasant to watch. And funny to say that even though Tapas was an experienced actor, it was the debuting girl who left some impact.

Vinod Khanna. Alright, you would remember the fact he was paired opposite Madhuri because of that super infamous scene in Dayavan. I think it is sad not many bother to see further. Vinod Khanna was much older then Madhuri and their couple could be perhaps seen as Shahrukh/Deepika of their time. They were paired opposite each other in two films. First it was Dayavan – and the kissing scene, during which Madhuri was so desperately uncomfortable, never really bothered me. The couple was just married after all, and there was no eating of each other´s heads anyway with sensual music in the background. Dayavan (1988) actually had several truly beautiful romantic moments and one could feel peace and silent love from the relationship. The second film was Mahasangram from 1990. Here Madhuri had a rather insignificant, but truly hilarious role and kept the film from being too depressing. We do not see much of a relationship here. She simply meets him, robs him, saves him, dances for him, he saves her life and they get married. While in Dayavan I actually quite liked them together, in Mahasangram they did not have any effect whatsoever. Madhuri was there for herself and not as a half of any couple. And she did a splendid job.

One of the most touching moments of Dayavan.

Sunny Deol appeared with Madhuri in two films. First one was a hit Tridev (1989), in which they were husband and wife, but considering they are violently separated very early in the film, there is not much jodi-ness going on. We do get a beautiful love song though. The second time they acted alongside each other was 12 years later in Yeh Raaste Hain Pyar Ke. In this forgotten (THANK GOD) Sunny was her friend, whom she refuses to marry, since she is in love with somebody else. Thus we can mention Ajay Devgn. YRHPK had him as the main lead in a double role, and Madhuri romanced „both“ Ajays, though only one was interested in her. While Sunny and Madhuri looked good together and I wouldn´t mind seeing more of them even today, Ajay Devgn is one man with whom she shares a truly zero chemistry. He is brilliant actor. She is brilliant actress. But they simply don´t work. After the film Ajay admitted he always felt dwarfed by her acting.

Sunny and Madhuri just engaged. Jackie was Madhuri´s brother in the film.

With Ajay Devgan. Chemistry, kahan ho tum?

Sanjay Kapoor´s name accompanied Madhuri´s in two films – first time it was in Raja in 1995. The film by Indra Kumar was meant to be his way to the Bollywood height, but even though the film was a big hit, all credit was given to Madhuri. Not only her skills and experience was far greater, but Sanjay Kapoor, though an OK actor, completely lacks any screen presence and Madhuri pretty much reduced him to ashes, though of course not intentionally. Sanjay Kapoor did not stand a chance at all. Next time they met on the silver screen he was in love with her, but she was not in love with him, though thanks to a dream sequence we got to see them romantically involved for a moment. That was in Mohabbat (1997). And Mohabbat also marked Madhuri´s first working association with Akshaye Khanna. Madhuri was thus one of the three actresses (other two being Hema Malini and Sridevi) to romance both father and son. And she had better chemistry with the son, though he is seven years younger. She did look older then him in the film, which did not at least bother me, because she still looked gorgeous, and you know, older women do romance younger guys in real life pretty often. But for many narrow minded people this was a big problem, and reviews more then about the film talked about her 9 years old kissing scene with Akshaye´s father. How professional. Second time that gave us a chance to see Akshaye with Madhuri was ten years later in Aaja Nachle. His hair loss obviously made up for any visible age difference and there was not one complaint. And while in Mohabbat they were cute, in Aaja Nachle they were sizzling! This is one couple I´d love to see again.

You know without the man on the left it would be a perfect picture.

As far as I know (and I can be wrong as I have not seen all Madhuri´s movies) Chunky Panday too shared the screen space with the diva two times. In Tezaab (1989) I can´t actually recall any scenes he would share with Madhuri, except for driving the car while she and Anil Kapoor are being miserable about their romance not going too well. He got his chance to woo Madhuri in 1991 in Khilaaf, and well, he screwed up. Madhuri´s unbounding passion in the film, be it connected to love or hate, was just overwhelming, while he managed to make a complete idiot out of himself in the first part, and rather unconvincing tragic lover in the second. To look at them was pleasant. To watch him act with her not so much.

No matter what, this song was amazing...

Nana Patekar was never trying to hide his deep admiration towards La Dixit and even was heard reciting poetry dedicated to her during his interviews. Their working relationship covers several films, but they were never romantically paired in the true sense. In Mohre (1987), Parinda (1989) and Prahaar (1991) they had very limited number of scenes together (if any at all). This change with 1999 film Wajood. Not even this was a „jodi“, because Nana plays a stalker in love with Madhuri, and their only romance takes place in his dreams and imagination. The chemistry between them was great though. I always say you don´t have to be a romantic pair to have a chemistry, and this applies to Nana/Madhuri combo. Just watch their final confrontation scene in the theater to know what I mean. The explosion of superb acting of the two will blow you away. Nana did survive.

Talent and charisma overload.

Very similarly like in Mohabbat, there was a love triangle in another OK-ish film Aarzoo (1999). In it Madhuri was paired with Akshay Kumar. They have already appeared together in Dil To Pagal Hai, but there he has more of a cameo role and she belonged to Shahrukh Khan (after all, the most beautiful lady belongs to the sexiest man, no?). In Aarzoo he got her undivided attention and it was really nice to see their pairing. I found them refreshing, though poor Akshay did not stand a chance against Madhuri in attention grabbing.... or other things. Saif Ali Khan, apart from admitting his naughtiest fantasy is to kiss Madhuri´s navel, also became a victim to Madhuri´s aura.

With Akshay...

...and with the guy who has naughty thoughts about her navel.

There are two more names that come to my mind: Samir Soni was lucky enough to make a couple with Madhuri in Lajja. True, we did not get to see much more apart him being a complete ass and ruining her dreams. But I wouldn´t mind seeing them together again, as I think Samir is a fine actor and well, they looked good. Finally we have Kumar Gaurav. He and Madhuri made a completely forgettable film Phool together in 1993. Do I really have to say that she ate them all up as was her habit?

Films I did not bother to finish

New York

Directed by: Kabir Khan

Starring: John Abraham, Katrina Kaif, Neil Mukesh, Irfaan Khan

Released: 2009

How much I could take: 48 minutes 17 seconds

New York the city is full of life, dangerous, fascinating, thrilling and engaging. New York the 2009 Hindi film is a total snooze-fest. What was it about? I´m not sure. I remember some police raid, Irfaan being a bad cop during some interrogation that lead to flashback to fluffy college memories full of parties and playing rugby, Katrina having atrocious red sections in her hair and then there was some attempt for a little romance..... Yeah – and then the tragic events from 9/11 are shown, but by that time my mind was so completely turned into a jelly I did not really get what it had to do with anything..... Performances do not save the day – on the contrary! John and Katrina combo sends „New York“ to the deepest hell, Irfaan lacks his usual grip and Neil Mukesh disappears from your mind the moment he lefts the screen frame. This film might be ideal for putting your kids to sleep, but at the same time it might have seriously bad effect on their mental health. It sure disturbed mine.

Tees Maar Khan

Directed by: Farah Khan

Starring: Akshay Kumar, Katrina Kaif, Akshaye Khanna

Released: 2010

How much I could take: 36 minutes 14 seconds

Possibly the crappiest film of the whole 2010. There may be even worse ones, but they were not as half as hyped and talked about hence the disappointment and shock over the sheer stupidity was not THAT striking. After I was disgusted by the opening titles where some freaky dancing (and yet unborn) baby indulges in some serious adultery, I was offered a truly mindless and cheap humour which had me asking my own intelligence. I was never smitten by Akshay Kumar as an actor, but I always found him at least watchable, but here he annoyed me like hell from the first second. And when the groovy Sheila Ki Jawani (the ONLY good part of the film) ended and I was presented with Katrina Kaif whom my washing machine could give a lesson or two about natural acting my patience and good will waved bye bye and went to sunbath to Italy. The reviews were promising some hope in the form of my dear Akshaye Khanna, but all the idiocy going on completely killed any desire to wait for his appearance. Watch only if your IQ equals to the one of a wooden rocking horse or you´re on drugs.

Dil Toh Bachcha Hai Ji

Directed by: Madhur Bhandarkar

Starring: Ajay Devgn, Emraan Hashmi, Omi Vaidya

Released: 2011

How long I could take: 1 hour 34 minutes 36 seconds

What a MEH movie. It isn´t really anything - not a romance, not drama, not comedy.... in fact it is really just MEH..... It was supposed to belong to all the characters, but in the end it belonged to nobody. All the characters are very shallow and you don´t care one bit for any of them. I was waiting for some relationship development between the three guys, but there is none. They simply get introduced and are best friends the next second. The women they are chasing are meh. The music is meh. The jokes are non-existent. It terribly drags and you get the feeling you are still at the beginning, because nothing is really going on. It´s like three stories put together, but having absolutely nothing in common. Ajay and Emraan are totally wasted, even though Ajay again proves his versatility and Emraan his great charisma. Meh film. Not really worth it.

Raajneeti

Directed by: Prakash Jha

Starring: Ranbir Kapoor, Ajay Devgn, Nana Patekar, Arjun Rampal

Released: 2010

How long I could take: 49 minutes 3 seconds

Raajneeti is a probably a good film and it only appears here because I did not understand it. Not one bit. I´m completely untouched by my country´s politics, and to venture into the Indian one is not my idea of fun. I had the best intentions and was even willing to suffer Katrina Kaif on screen, because I LOVE Nana Patekar, really like Ranbir Kapoor and Ajay Devgan and do not mind Arjun Rampal. But the great actors were, sadly for me, involved in scheming plots and occupied by affairs that I had a very difficult time understanding or even remembering them all. I was not bored by this one, not at all. I was lost, completely lost like a puppy in the jungles of Amazon. And so I did not finish it, even though it probably is, as I have already mentioned, a good film.

Dil To Pagal Hai

Directed by: Yash Chopra

Starring: Shahrukh Khan, Madhuri Dixit, Karishma Kapoor, Akshay Kumar

Released: 1997

It was my fourth Bollywood movie and also the one that confirmed my love for Bollywood forever. It was the last step that I took in my obsession with Madhuri Dixit, Shahrukh Khan and Indian cinema in general. It is for me what Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge is to many others – the ultimate romantic Bollywood movie. It doesn´t have much of a story. It has a rather slow pace. It has kitschi things like running on green meadows and feeling each other´s presence, even while you don´t know the other one exists. And it is primarily not about twists of fate, but about a feeling.

Rahul (who else then Shahrukh Khan with that name, right?) and Nisha (Karishma Kapoor) are the best of friends and together with a bunch of other friends they form a famous dance troupe. Rahul is a director and choreographer, Nisha, as it would seem, the best dancer for miles and miles around. Nisha loves Rahul, but never told him. After all, Rahul is one unromantic and cynical guy, who hates all the lovy-mushy stuff. He loves only one girl, but she unfortunately exists only in his mind and resembles more of a fairy then a human being. And Rahul wants to make a new play based on this illusion, which he lovingly calls Maya. After everyone around him makes it clear they do not understand her character, he still sends them all to blazes and is adamant. Rehearsals start. And as soon as they do the nightmare of all directors strikes – Nisha injures her feet and is unable to dance. Depressed and angry, Rahul stays in the rehearsing hall till the late evening and without much of a thought he starts playing the drums. To his great surprise the gentle, rhythmical tinkling of somebody´s anklets comes to him in return from the neighbouring hall.......

Pooja (Madhuri Dixit) is an orphan raised by family friends, whom she affectionatelly calls uncle and aunty. She spends her time with day-dreaming, for which her friends make fun of her. But nothing can shake her belief that God has created everyone as a part of a couple, and only left it to people to find each other. She stubbornly believes she will eventually meet the man of her dreams and they will live happily ever after. Therefore she is nothing less then shocked when Ajay (Akshay Kumar with a rather ridiculous haircut), her best friend and son of „aunty“ and „uncle“, professes his love for her and asks her to marry him. She hastily agrees, still much shocked and not certain at all, but after a while she makes peace with the prospect and tries to convince herself that Ajay is the one. But then one evening she stays late in her dancing school. And once she hears somebody playing the drums nearby, she gives into the rhythm and starts dancing......

She´s beautiful, she´ s cute, she´s sexy..... Why doesn´t he love her?

Oh yeah...... right....... that´s why.

It is obvious, what will happen next, right? In fact, it is quite obvious what will happen since the first minute. The original message by Yash Chopra (for the first time ever not a cringe worthy one) is „Someone, somewhere, is made for you“ and it completely reveals the whole plot. The question here is not „what“, but „how“ and „when“. While the first half of the film moves really slow, introducing the characters and the relationships between them, it builds up the expectations that are fully satisfied in the second. The film sure does have several weak points, But I will get to those later. I found it fascinating that finally there is a film with no negative character at all – and still negative things happen. There is no need for a person to intentionally create problems, because there is love love love everywhere and it makes enough mess by itself, tormenting these nice, but still flawed people. 

Absolutely mesmerized and not believing his eyes. Why?

Oh yeah....... righ........ that´s why.

There is more to the characters than meets the eye, especially the leading pair, but one has to admit it is because of the sensitive and excellent handling of the roles by the actors more then because of the script. Many people feel that Rahul in DTPH is an extension of Raj from DDLJ. When I saw the movie for the first time, I could not make any comparisms as I had not seen DDLJ yet, but today I can surely agree. Rahul is however, a step ahead of a half-childish Raj. He is more mature in thinking, more aware of his aim, and he is more real in a sense that he is more possessive of the girl he loves. He even doesn´t hesitate to say things that he knows will hurt her, but only in hope that she might feel bad after that and come to him. He is selfish in his love, and yet so giving, offering her all his devotion. He is the character that goes through a development. Not exactly a stereotypical love-hater, but not convinced about romantic feelings, up until the moment he finds himself in love, he accepts this new feeling without fighting it. He is still as bratty and with an air of arrogance in the end, but love enriches him and really shows his depth. Shahrukh Khan is a brilliant actor, and even though I do not consider his performances in DDLJ or DTPH as award winning, he is as convincing as only he can be.

Then there is of course Pooja. Rahul´s fantasy about Maya is nothing else then Yash Chopra´s eternal fantasy about an ideal woman clad in white. But once illusionary „Maya“ takes the real shape of „Pooja“ right in front of Rahul´s eyes, dancing in a ray of moonlight, she is not at all a flawless creature herself. She is naive and seems to be all sweet and sugary, she could very easily be rejected as completely unrealistic. But one look into Madhuri´s eyes and Pooja becomes a real character. There is an unspoken, but strongly felt strength in her. What makes Pooja different from stereotypical heroines is not only her decision not to pursue her desire on cost of hurting people who raised her (which up until that point was not the trend in Bollywood movies), but also the way she carries herself. When she decides to give up her dreams, she does so with tremendous dignity. Her silence, smiles, pauses and eyes all emote without much dialogues. She does not speak too much, but you still know she is there, that she is feeling, thinking, longing..... Rahul represents passion in their relationship, while she is dutiful, with a great self-respect, but never cold or proud. Her drawback is her indecisiveness in the first part and her inability to clearly face Rahul in the second. What made me love the character is also the fact Madhuri got to play yet another completely different person. Pooja is like no other of her roles, it doesn´t resemble any of them.

Everyone who knows me also knows that Madhuri/Shahrukh are my favourite jodi. I love their chemistry that is simply burning the screen. They don´t have to eat each other´s head to show you they are in love. One word, one look or just being in the same room creates magic. In a way they are a mature jodi with a great depth and it was also great to see them falling in love bit by bit. There was a slow development of the relationship, which I always welcome in Bollywood films in opposite to „saw-you-in-the-mall-once-will-you-marry-me“ types of romances.

CHEMISTRY!

CHEMISTRY!

CHEMISTRY!

The „main cast“ is complete with Karishma Kapoor and Akshay Kumar. There is not much to talk about when it comes to Akshay, except that he looks somehow nerdy and keeps his OK level of acting. His buddiness with Madhuri was cute though. Karishma, whom many are praising for her performance, was also good, but did not blown me away. While both Shahrukh and Madhuri are so effortless in their craft, that it might almost seem they are not even acting, Karishma does have a sort of Bollywood OTT-ness, which is most apparent in her emotional scenes. She also looks a little out of place at times among Shahrukh-Madhuri-Akshay, who are all in the same age-group, while she is much younger. Still, her and Shahrukh´s friendship looks very natural on screen.

The awkward moment when alcohol makes you tell your best friend you love him.

As I have mentioned earlier there are some flaws to the film, which I wouldn´t label as perfect or the best ever. The first part holds some „teenage“ silliness in some of the dialogues, for example all that Valentine´s day and full moon explanations were very cheesy and one can only curse Aditya Chopra for it. Similarly Karishma´s confession to Rahul on the bank of a lake (in Baden Baden :) )is way too long and on the verge of boring. Another scene that needed more editing was the whole Khandala bussiness and visit to Pooja´s teacher. But the rest of the film makes up for these. For every Valentine´s day crap we have Shahrukh Khan without pants, for every Karishma´s boring crying by the lake we have her excellent drunken scene, for every Khandala visit we have the „Aur pass“ moment (the most sensuous, romantic, gentle, beautiful and at the same time erotic scene of the world cinema). Visuals are beautiful, and I could not care less if there is not a one as clear market place in real India. If we can have superheroes flying through the air and babies delivered by a vacuum cleaner, can´t we have clean markets and studios too? I loved the idea of two people being so close to each other and yet never meeting.

Aur pass......

Aur pass...................

Aur pass...........................................................

The great part of the film is musical score – and what a score it is! Every song is beautiful to say the least. My personal favourites are Koi Ladki Hai and Dhoolna, but every single track makes you want to dance or at least hum along. I was not excited about choreography at first. In fact it looked more like an aerobic training, but once I accepted it, it fitted well. It was different from what we usually see. The picturization of two songs is especially beautiful: Arre Arre is wonderful in showing at the same time Rahul and Pooja bonding as friends and collegues, and their „inner selves“ being very much in love. And Dhoolna is simply a song that you need to see in a Chopra movie. Madhuri looked ethreal in all the outfits and colours and Shahrukh´s loving gaze was, I´m sure, not difficult to pull off at all!

The only problem of this picturization is you don´t  know where to look!

It is also important to realize that Dil To Pagal Hai together with Hum Aapke Hain Koun and Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge were very different from the rest of the films at the time of their release. HAHK was celebrating family values, DDLJ connected those with romance and finally DTPH was nothing but a tribute to love. It never promised to be anything else. Not perfect. But definitely a classic. Enjoyable, relaxing, touching, uncomplicated in narration but rich with emotions. A film about a feeling.

Someone, somewhere...... is made for you.....