Chalte Chalte

Directed by: Aziz Mirza

Starring: Shahrukh Khan, Rani Mukherjee

Released: 2003

Sometimes I am simply in need to see something with Shahrukh Khan, no matter what it is, no matter what bad things I´ve heard about it. There was nothing particularly bad (or good for the matter) that I´ve heard about Chalte Chalte, and people hardly ever mention it, if they are not talking about the infamous Aishwarya bussiness. After seeing the film I know why. Because there is really not anything that would 1. stay in mind 2. make one go gaga (except for several shirtless SRK scenes) 3. irritate you.

Raj and Priya are both extremely attractive people from two completely different social classes, with different views of the world, life and just about everything, so they naturally fall in love. They get married after just several days. And then they realize it may not have been the best idea, as they keep fighting each other everyday over most trivial matters. They go from heartbreak to heartbreak only to realize love conquers all in the end. That´s it.

SRK hota hai.... to pyaar hota hai.

If it aims to be a love story, then the plot fails, even though the first twenty minutes are pure romance with all the naivity and fluff of Bollywood films, including infatuation at first sight, singing  instead of talking and also washing cows in the country. But as the film progresses one can see that the romancing at the beginning was just an excuse for showing us the story of man´s ego and pride. And the portrayal of it, with all the sudden ups and downs of Raj´s mood and nearly violent outbursts of anger is very real (I know some people who are exactly like that). Unfortunately the role and the film had nothing to really offer to SHAHRUKH KHAN, and Rani is even more wasted. They are both absolutely terrific actors, but here the script lets them both down - and most of the time Rani was on screen I kept imagining Aishwarya in her place, because ironically her more OTT acting and more OTT crying just might have, in the result, have greater impact. Serious lack of chemistry between the two characters doesn´t really help to save the day. And when the end comes, you cannot detect any change at all - neither in Priya nor in Raj, and one has to ask why did you have to endure this whole teary/screamy journey if it is, most likely, going to repeat again.... and again..... and again......

Welcome my bride! I have just killed the last bug in out new appartment.

There is another irony as both Shahrukh and Rani had previously done films dealing with basically the same issue – marital problems. Rani did Saathiya and Shahrukh Hum Tumhare Hain Sanam, which both had their share of success. Chalte Chalte is more polished (and technically more relevant) HTHS and slightly more mature version of Saathiya. Which leaves you with another problem. You have seen this before. And with the same actors. And as it happens just one year before.

There were little thing I loved though. First is the memorable scene of Priya coming for the first time into Raj´s appartment as a bride. The way how he quickly improvizes to finish all the rituals was absolutely sweet and well done - and Priya´s expression as she looks around and sees all the guy´s mess make you honestly laugh. This is also probably the first film where I did not see Johnny Lever being the fun part of the movie. On the contrary - it was almost painful to watch him, and I must say he was incredibly convincing and I wanted to know more about him and his character then about the whole main plot!

Johnny Lever steals the show?

But I tried so hard.

When it comes to music, again - nothing makes you excited and nothing makes you roll eyes. It is "normal", if you get the meaning. And "normal" is the whole film. I wouldn´t recommend it to a person who is not in love with either Rani or Shahrukh, and even though I love them both, it is not a film I would need to see twice.

Dil Bole Hadippa!

Directed by: Anurag Singh

Starring: Shahid Kapoor, Rani Mukherjee, Anupam Kher, Dalip Tahil

Released: 2009

Veera Kaur is a self proclaimed "world-class cricket batsman, right- and left-handed", for sure the best one for miles around. However as a country girl travelling most of the time with a theater company, she doesn´t really get an opportunity to show her skills. On the other side of the world, in England, there lives Rohan, an accomplished captain of an English cricket team, up until the moment his father calls him back to India, where his own little team has been loosing for years. And even though it´s against a Pakistani team of his friend, he just really wants to win this time. Rohan, of course, leaves everything just to see his daddy gets a victory once in a while, and he becomes the new captain and starts auditions to find the best players.

No clever caption. Just enjoy her beauty.

What a better opportunity for Veera could ever come? However, you see, she is a girl, and as such not even allowed to audition. But taking an inspiration from her theater company, Veera does not give up – she throws away her kohl and bangles and becomes – Veer! Naturally now nobody has any objections against her being in the team. But this triumph has it´s disadvantages for Veera, one of them being forced to use men´s changing room. After being caught by Rohan in her female avatar in there, she quickly pretends to be Veer´s sister. And Rohan, after some arguing and bickering, falls in love with her....

Sometimes you have to forget you´re a woman...

...when you have man´s dreams.

But ouch! The pain of the changing room!

Few more meetings and Veera too falls for the handsome cricketer, trying as hard as she can to keep other girls away, as well as rediscovering the hindustani dil in him, that has been exposed to way too much English influence over the years. It is also easier for her to predict and guess what Rohan´s feelings and thoughts are, since he goes to be adviced to the person he considers Veera´s closest confidant – her brother Veer....

From English cool guy...

...back to the roots!

I am not a fan of sport films. They always show a man/woman who are in a way an outcast and should not be doing the sport or are past their peak, how they challenge everything and in the end overcome everything, make it to the big finale where they either win or loose, but if the latter, it has a deep moral subtext and they always earn more respect than the winner. There are sport films that, even though with the same formula, can step out of the mould (best example is Chak De India), but Dil Bole Hadippa is not one of them. It is quite enjoyable for one watch, but there is not really a repeat value and throughout I just felt something was missing and thus it all was incomplete. Especially once the final match starts, the film seemed boring – which was the exact opposite of what it should be.

Rani was just brilliant and her comic scenes were priceless, she owned the film completely, leaving just very little space for Shahid, who seems rather halfhearted anyway. Especially his emotional outburst upon finding out the truth about Veer being Veera, seemed very much rehearsed. There is one scene where I was willing to forgive all, and that I will definitely cherish always: the little stage show with references to DDLJ, MPK and of course HAHK. This was the first (only?) time I ever saw anyone actually word by word acting the famous HAHK scene, as as delightful as Rani and Shahid were, images from the original films were simply flashing through my mind and I caught myself smiling at them. The film, as every true Yash Raj production, is beautiful visually, very colourful without making your eyes sore, music is forgettable.

Shahid´s take on Shahrukh....

...and Rani´s on Madhuri.

The film failed to make the mark in history of cinema, it didn´t even do too well at the box office, and frankly I can understand why. The many flaws can always be forgiven and forgotten, but for that a movie needs to have a certain complexity, something that touches the heart or makes you think. Dil Bole Hadippa remains an OK one time watch without this quality.

Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna

Directed by: Karan Johar

Starring: Shahrukh Khan, Rani Mukherjee, Abhishek Bachchan, Preity Zinta, Amitabh Bachchan, Kirron Kher

Released: 2006

I will never really understand where did my courage to watch Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna come from. Till this day I have not been able to overcome the outrage and hate that both have come over me after watching Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Ghum, which I consider the worst film I´ve ever seen. I guess it was only my devotion to Shahrukh Khan and my wish to know his complete body of work, combined with being naturally curious what is all the fuss about, that made me watch KANK. After 15 minutes I already knew I was going to suffer.

Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna is basically a story about two people whose personalities suck big time and that not as much because of the circumstances but because they choose to. Shahrukh as Dev is an arrogant, selfish and most of all self-pitying brat with no respect whatsoever. Once he was a famous football player but after being hit by a car his career was over and he is limping ever since. Sure, something like that could make anyone deeply depressed, but Dev, rather than trying to move on and be useful, decides to sulk for years, blaming the whole world and mentally terrorizing his little son (I was just waiting for the kid to be hospitalized as mentally unstable and crippled for life). I don´t think I ever disliked any Shahrukh´s character as much. Even when he played an evil person like in Anjaam or Don, there was something you could admire or at least appreciate (even though what they do is wrong). But Dev is just a disgusting piece of existence, giving nothing to anyone, being jealous of his wife´s (Preity) success and destroying every moment of peace for everybody around. I am no fan of perfectly flawless characters , I like it when they are human with flaws, but there is limit to everything. Maybe it was my utter dislike for the character, but either not even Shahrukh´s acting could have make me like Dev or even Shahrukh was just bad in this. Based on my opinion that except for My Name Is Khan Karan Johar has always managed to bring out the worst out of him, I sadly tend to believe the second option.

Herodes could learn how to treat kids from Dev....

Rani as Maya is not an inspiring person either. Also wallowing in self-pity she is pushing away any chance of being happy with her husband Rishi (Abhishek). The film tried to present her as being oh so poor a soul because she does not feel romantic love for Rishi, but I only wanted to scream at her for being such a life-ruiner. Rishi is a husband of dreams really. He copes up with everything she does or says without a complaint. He is incredibly giving. And she apparently doesn´t give a damn. In this sense she is same as Dev. They both obviously LOVE being miserable and they LOVE to blame others for it. HOW in the world am I supposed to be their fan or even feel for them? Impossible!

Let´s just behave like a total ass so I can embarass my partner and pity myself even more.

In a very apparent plot twist these two fall in love and start having a secret affair consisting mainly of getting drenched in the rain and singing songs in imaginary sorrounding Karan Johar style. Up until of course they are caught..... and they separate.... and they are oh so noble now and want to save their marriages.... and they end up together of course after one of the most teary, excruciating and longest climaxes ever. By that point I was already skipping whole minutes, completely worn out by all that crap I had managed to sit through. I was not interested AT ALL in what Dev and Maya were through.

One of the greatest sore spots in the film also remains Amitabh Bachchan in his possibly most cringe worthy role ever – Sexy Sam – out of whose hangover he is suffering till this day. Instead of cool he was sleazy and his part in the story was completely unnecessary. I guess his parts of the film were supposed to be mostly fun, but this intention fails completely.

Hi! I´m Sexy Sam. Embarassment of the decade.

The saving graces are performances by Preity Zinta and Abhishek Bachchan. In other circumstances I would always choose Rani and Shahrukh over them, but not here. Theirs were the bits I enjoyed and the best scene of them all has to be Preity slapping Shahrukh after finding out the truth.

KANK fails. In basically every department. I am nobody to preach about fidelity between husband and wife (though yeah, I believe in the concept) and I can see why many marriages fail. I am not saying two people HAVE TO live with each other if they are so very unhappy. However the way infidelity is presented in this movie makes it all seem actually right and legit. There are other films that deal with the same issue and yet they manage to show all the involved people as likeable humans with reasons of their own, like Yash Chopra´s Silsila or most recently Imtiaz Ali´s Rockstar, but Karan Johar, skilled with pouring glycerine but completely clueless about real feelings makes it all one great mess where you hate the hero, you hate the heroine and you hate their love story. And you definitely hate Sexy Sam.

Quickies I.

Just quick takes on several different films.....

FASHION

Directed by: Madhur Bhandarkar
Starring: Priyanka Chopra, Kangana Ranaut, Arbaaz Khan
Released: 2008

This did not look like a Bollywood movie at all..... and it works great, though I must admit it´s not a film I would like to watch again, definitely not the whole thing at one time. Priyanka was brilliant, especially in the second part, looked absolutely fabulous, but I must admit I was even more smitten by Kangana´s performance as Shonali. This was the film that made me love her - and then the love was taken away by Tanu weds Manu and Game.... but here the magic still prevails. As far as her performance goes it was THE EXPERIENCE for me. The movie was really a girl´s show from the beggining to end, though Arbaaz deserves a mention. Sometimes it happens to me, that the three hours, which a is a regular time for Bollywood movies, are just tooooooo damn long. I did not have this feeling during this movie.

It was nice to see Konkona and Ranvir, whom both I love, but let´s face it: that scene was simply good for nothing, because it was not related to the story in any way, hence it didn´t really work even as a special appearance. Music was nice, but nothing much to talk about. No songs. In this particular case thank God for that.

Brilliant movie. Now I need to go and watch Hum Aapke Hain Koun to get me out of depression. Joote Do Paise Lo.....!!!!!!
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WAKE UP SID

Directed by Ayan Mukerji
Starring: Ranbir Kapoor, Konkona Sen Sharma, Anupam Kher
Released: 2009

I had no idea what the plot is, all I knew it has Koko and Ranbir. And they were both just great in this nice, slow and charming movie!!! I thoroughly enjoyed the beggining, because Sid had the same illness as me - procrastination!!!! Pity his friends kinda disappeared after first 30 minutes, but in the end they were really not too important for the story. I really liked the plot - no dramatic over the top situations, just simple tale of a man finally growing up...... and for once the growth of love was understandable, enjoyable and BELIEVABLE!!!

As I already said, Ranbir was great. I love the guy! And Koko is brilliant. I would so love to see her in more movies. She does not have a nice profile, but otherwise she is IMO much more gorgeous then Katrina or Sonam. And her talent is unquestionable.

Very enjoyable movie, that slows down a bit in the second half. The word I would describe it would be "refreshing".
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TAAL

Directed by: Subhash Ghai
Starring: Aishwariya Rai, Akshaye Khanna, Anil Kapoor
Released: 1999

Movie that is anything but exciting. Full of half-baked characters, out of whom only Anil had something that would interest you. But there are definitely some plus poits. One was Aishwarya - I don´t know whatever has happened to her nowdays, but she used to be so adorable! I mean - she was so very natural in this film, it was sheer pleasure to watch her. I´m also a fan of her simple look without much make-up and jewellery, so this worked as well. She danced BEAUTIFULLY. Another plus point was Anil - his acting was a highlight. And then there is BEAUTIFUL title song that is absolutely magical. I loved the picturization as well. In fact the whole soundtrack of Taal can be definitely labeled as one of the best Rahman´s albums. Pity not all the voices used suited Aishwariya...

I was SHOCKED to see Amrish Puri was not a bad guy!!! That is something that just isn´t right...

And I will never understand why Bollywood heroines so often love the most impossible jerks. Akshaye´s character was purely annoying to me (and mind you, I adore Akshaye!). He was just too sure of himself!!! And then he gave away the finale halfway through the film!!! "You will send her to me, she will come out of her own decision...." blah blah blah..... And then to ensure his success in the end he decides to use a CUTE DOG as a weapon!!!! Now that is EMOTIONAL BLACKMAILING!!!!

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MOHRA

Directed by: Rajiv Rai
Starring: Akshay Kumar, Raveena Tandon, Naseeruddin Shah, Suniel Shetty
Released: 1994

The greatest strengh of this movie is the plot no doubt. And it is also (together with the somehow psychotic Naseeruddin Shah) the only saving grace. The first hour was somehow boring and full of WTF (the jail was WTF for sure. No police anywhere in sight, prisoners roaming wherever they wanted to....). I never thought much about Akshay as an actor (thought he looked YUMMY here, never liked him anywhere else), and Raveena too was average. The second part of the film is definitely thrilling and has some good moments, but somehow I have overgrown the totally totally evil evil guys and totally totally good good police officers. Once again the twists in the story were great and unexpected. What I hated was the stolen melody - this time from Jesus Christ Superstar.
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BAABUL

Directed by: Ravi Chopra
Starring: Rani Mukherjee, Amitabh Bachchan, Salman Khan, John Abraham, Hema Malini
Released: 2006

The first 90 minutes were like watching Hum Aapke Hain Koun 2 (except Salman did not look cute, more like silly this time) - all was there from warm family relationships, celebratory songs, wedding, pregnancy......... but the magic of HAHK was not present at all. The second part was nothing but boring and the ending was a bit too quick a bit naive - and also ended up on HAHK note. I really liked Rani though, she was awesome and very believable and also Amitabh gave a good performance. The scenes between him and Rani are the highlits and it is interesting to note that Rani had more chemistry with him then with Salman or John. Those two are easily overshadowed by Rani and Big B. Om Puri and Hema Malini whose characters were IMO quite essential to the story, were unnecceserilly and unforgivably sidelined.

Only worth watching for Rani and her interaction with Amitabh.

My TOP 10 Hindi songs

Why ten? Well, the list could easily be longer. But in the end I went with those, that I listen to the most. In the bus, in train during my lengthy traveling from home to university city, before I go to sleep.... Whenever there is an opportunity. These are the songs that actually are so beautiful, that I bothered to look out the best lyrics translations – only to fall in love with them even more knowing what magic there is in the words and not just in melody or singer´s voice. And I really love them for the melody, not picturization, however beautiful it might be. So let´s meet my Top 10 Bollywood songs.

10. Tumse Milke – yes, I know this one is not an original, but simply a Hindi version of „When I need you“. But Tumse Milke has innocence and peace to it, which the original lacks. It seems simpler, less forced, more sensitive. Not to mention the words are more romantic. Sung by Suresh Wadkar and Asha Bhosle, it was picturized on Anil Kapoor and Madhuri Dixit for a film Parinda (1989).

9. Main Agar Kahoon – starting off with gentle, music box tinkeling, this is one of the memorable melodies that made part of a magic for Om Shanti Om (2007). Sonu Nigam and Shreya Ghoshal lent their voices to Shahrukh Khan and Deepika Padukone in this utterly romantic song. Result is a sheer beauty.

8. Dilli – something completely different from any other song in the list. This isn´t romantic, not by a long shot. And it is nothing else but pure rock. And it rocks big time. Main melody for a movie No one killed Jessica (2011) set a high standard for song very early this year and I don´t think there shall be many songs to be better or that would even manage to match it. Sung by Tochi Raina, Shriram Iyer and Aditi Singh Sharma, it can be heard during the opening titles of the film, brilliantly setting the mood.

7. Silsila Ye Chaahat Ka – the first Bollywood song I´ve ever heard. It was the voice that completely amazed me. Shreya Ghoshal has been truly gifted. Composed and made for Bhansali´s Devdas (2002) it was used as an introduction for Aishwarya Rai as one of the main characters. And it was probably her most amazing introduction ever.

6. O Re Piya – best song from a very under-rated soundtrack of a very under-rated film Aaja Nachle (2007). Lyrical, poetical, but full of life. The voice of Rahat Fateh Ali Khan is so powerful and engaging that even though I did not understand the lyrics at first, he presented me with a beautiful story full of beautiful images. The song was partly a background score, used for a flashback sequence.

5. Masha Allah – if I could, I would list the whole soundtrack of Saawariya (2007) in here! Because it is probably the most amazing soundtrack ever. In the end I decided that this song should appear in the list, because it was the first one from the album that I heard and immediately was enchanted. Kunal Gajawala with a help of not-enough-praised Shreya Ghoshal sung for Ranbir Kapoor and Sonam Kapoor, as the two were escaping each other in a dreamy, blue world...

4. Pyar Kiya To Darna Kya – maybe it is the most famous Bollywood song ever. And it has reason. It is simply brilliant. Re-written countless times, it was chiseled out to perfection. Picturized on Madhubala, the song was brought to life by Lata Mangeshkar and it is in my opinion by far her best piece ever. The soft melody grows more and more demanding by a second, until it fills you with an indescribable excitement.

3. Maar Daala – the ultimate mujra song. Try to forget for a moment about Madhuri Dixit being beyond words in it (hard, I know) and enjoy the longing, love and beauty of the piece. Brilliant voice of Kavita Krishnamurthy singing absolutely heavenly words will send shivers down your spine. Devdas (2002), just like Saawariya, was simply full of wonderful music.

2. Mere Haath Mein – Sonu Nigam has become my favourite Bollywood singer ever with this song. And Sunidhi Chauhan matched him here without a fail. Amazing, amazing, amazing. I don´t have words to really express what I feel while listening to the song. And the lyrics... oh my.... leave me longing for love... and more love.... just like Aamir Khan and Kajol in Fanaa (2006)!

1. Kismat Se Tum – my favourite Hindi song ever. Composed by the great A.R.Rahman it once again made Sonu Nigam touch my heart. The female vocals were taken care of by Anuradha Pauwal. And yet again the lyrics are indescribably beautiful. And so is everything about the song. From the gentle background singers humming to the clear sound of a flute, everything falls into place and creates a fantasy really. Anil Kapoor and Madhuri Dixit were the lucky ones, who could present the magic to the audience in a film Pukar (2000). 

Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham

Directed by: Karan Johar

Starring: Amitabh Bachchan, Jaya Bachchan, Shahrukh Khan, Kajol, Hrithik Roshan, Kareena Kapoor

Released: 2001

„Not-at-all-dear Karan Johar,

I hate you with passion. Because what you do is that you thrust your greedy hand into people´s chest, you rip their hearts out and then you dance tango over them in tapping shoes. You want them to cry. You want them to cry a LOT. You don´t want to give them anything. You only want to take. While your venture with Kuch Kuch Hota Hai was watchable and Kal Ho Naa Ho quite fun thanks to Saif Ali Khan, your atrocious Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham is the best example of a commercial crap that forces out tears, tears and more tears under a pretext of being a film about family values.

Worst regards

Not-ever-yours Hater.“

I have seen films that bored me to death. I have seen films that made me angry with sheer stupidity. I have seen films that left me utterly confused. K3G 1.) bored me to death 2.) made me angry with sheer stupidity 3.) left me utterly confused PLUS 4.) made me hate Karan Johar and Jaya Bachchan. Why did I watch it then? Because it sadly is one of the most famous films of the past decade and even more sadly it is hugely popular. I can positively say that the films I´ve seen so far and hated had at least one redeeming quality to them. But this has NOTHING, nothing at ALL!!! The story itself is not bad, though not the most exciting or original ever (that wouldn´t bother me one bit). The script though is TERRIBLE, performances bellow average at their best and direction shows a lazy approach with one aim only – to make a hit film. Not a film for someone. Film for money! That is what makes Karan Johar stand out among other directors. His unashamed hunger for commercial success. And he will use anything to get it. I don´t even know where to start with all the bashing of this waste of celluloid!

Amitabh Bachchan plays an elderly father of a family, that consists of his wife (Jaya Bachchan) and two sons, adopted Rahul (yeah yeah.... Shahrukh and who else. They run out of names for him a long time ago) and their own Rohan (some fat kiddo, then Hrithik Roshan). They are a PERFECT family. And I mean PERFECT (aka they have larger than life photos of themselves everywhere, including one really freaky family portrait). They love each other, they celebrate Diwalis in STYLE and they are DISGUSTINGLY rich. Their house was apparently imported from England and used to be a castle. They don´t usually use cars (those are apparently for poor), they prefer helicopters, and they have a garden of a size of central China. But then Rahul falls in love with a poor girl Anjali (Kajol). BOOM BOOM BOOM!!! Thunder strikes and it signifies Amitabh Bachchan is not amused. After Rahul hears out some abuses on the adress of a girl he loves, he does what every perfect son would – he begs on his knees for forgiveness. But duh! Anjali just lost her father. And so instead of dumping her Rahul marries her. BOOM BOOM BOOM!!! Amitabh Bachchan is like seriously pissed. So he says that from now on Rahul should get out. And Rahul goes. And because obviously India is way too small, he settles down in London. There his wife gets birth to a son and next ten years spends with xenophobic ranting against everything even remotely English. With them lives also Anjali´s younger sister Pooja (Kareena Kapoor), who grows up into a Paris Hilton-ish airhead and with her equally stupid friends rules the college. But then her heart is stricken with love as soon as a MUSCULAR guy gets out of his fancy red car. YEAH! Rohan, Rahul´s younger brother, lost the baby fat (but he still cannot do his shoe-laces) and now he set out to unite his family. And the best way to do so is to pretend you are a complete stranger and sneak into Rahul´s home. Wah Wah. Kya planning hai! By this time I was really thinking about killing myself and only finished the film because I found fascinating how BAD it actually was.

Absolutely typical Indian home.

Karan Johar says that „It is all about loving your parents“, but the film says that it is all about endless whining, weeping, sobbing, crying and being miserable. They are still talking about how they love each other, but NOBODY does ANYTHING to show that love. No. They prefer to call you a disgrace (Amitabh), sulk in London for ten years (Shahrukh), emotionally blackmail everyone (Hrithik) or bulging eyes while silently crying (Jaya). There is absolutely no love going on on the screen. You cannot feel any emotions. All the actors are like in their own vacuum, where they act, and they just happen to be in one frame together. There is nothing that could be called an interaction. Amitabh is highly unlikable as a stubborn aging father who loves his authority more then his family. Jaya Bachchan getting an award for looking retarded most of the time is an insult. Shahrukh Khan is looking unforgivably sexy, but is so clean and sweet and perfect that even he was a sore to look at after all that whining! Kajol, whom I finally started to like more then just tolerating her presence on screen, is made to behave like a drunken twit (I shall never forgive Karan for this). And since I am among the minority who does not really see what is THAT special about them, their jodi does not save anything for me. Rani is decent and wasted and forgettable. Hrithik is a goody goody with muscles and that´s where it ends. Kareena had no importance in the story at all.

Music, except for two songs, is very average. And there is one more thing about Karan Johar´s films: the main theme shall repeat again...and again.... and again..... until you feel like kicking into something every time it appears. I had the same problem with Kuch Kuch Hota Hai main theme. And when they inserted it into this film too, it just couldn´t get any worse.... I usually don´t mind mentions of other films and such, but here Karan was celebrating his own film, and that is cringeworthy to say the least. The visuals are terrible. When Yash Chopra makes an imaginary, utopistic clean world for his characters to live in, it is all just a background for feelings and there is honesty in his films. Karan Johar overwhelms you (and makes you practically sick) with the sheer opulence, that is kind of falling on you and you suffocate under it. The visuals are MEANT to overwhelm you. They are not a part of the story at all (as it is the case with Bhansali´s films). They are simply there and make you uneasy. And when a choir of English kids starts singing Indian anthemn, the patriotism is so forced down your throat it´s hard not to be almost physically sick. And just in case you are not moved enough, they will show you a disabled girl smiling happily during that.

Not moving, not appealing, not honest, not even cheesy. A cringeworthy documentary on „How to weep annoyingly and steadily“.

Weeping.

Weeping.

Weeping.

Weeping.

Weeping.

Weeping.

"Can we stop weeping now, please?"

Black

Directed by: Sanjay Leela Bhansali

Starring: Rani Mukherjee, Amitabh Bachchan, Ayesha Kapoor, Shernaz Patel

Released: 2005

What comes to your mind when somebody says „black“? For me it used to be just a colour that helps one to look a bit slimmer, a colour of sadness, a dumb colour without a feeling. But now, now it became a certain space, which is calmingly empty and quiet, and at the same time filled with something wonderful but not yet seen. What caused this change in my perception was „Black“. Once again Sanjay Leela Bhansali had to face the negativity because many people didn´t like the fact he doesn´t make films out of completely original and new scripts. But in my opinion it is not the main storyline, which makes a good film-maker, it is the way he (or she) perceives the plot and hoe he presents it to others. And Bhansali may not be the original source of the tale, but he is possibly the best story-teller out there.

This time he decided to tell a story of a blind and deaf girl and her teacher. The inspiration for him was the famous history of Helen Keller and Annie Sullivan. In a way the film is a tribute to these remarkable women, as well as all blind and deaf people and those who help them find a way from a world that is black. Because after all, everything starts in darkness...

Magical moment...

 When she was a little baby, Michelle McNally just barely survived a severe illness. As a result she is deprived of seeing and hearing. Her loving parents are desperate, completely oblivious of what to do. Her mother refuses to admit her into an asylum and is determined to take care of her daughter herself. But how to raise a child who has no normal way of learning about the world around? Who does´t understand that everything has a meaning, a name. And so Michelle is growing more like a wild, uncontrollable animal and every day is a torture for her and her parents. After she nearly kills her baby sister, not even remotely realizing it, her father, whose grief turns into an unending frustration, is finally determined to send her away. Her mother begs for one more chance and this time she decides to call upon a special teacher for now eight-years-old Michelle. 

Ayesha Kapoor as little Michelle - possibly the best child performance I´ve seen.

Enter Debraj Sahai – a very unconventional (to say it mildly) teacher, who likes to drink, and who likes to create an image of a „magician“ in the eyes of others, because he is one of the few who really can break the black barrier into the world of deaf and blind children. In a very short time he becomes nearly obsessed with bringing Michelle out of her solitary, savage existence, but his harsh methods and stricktness meet with a great disapproval of Michelle´s father, who, after a while, asks Debraj to leave his house. But Debraj, knowing Mr. McNally is traveling for some time, manages to convince his wife to grant him more time with Michelle. 20 days pass and the girl shows no real progress. Debraj is running out of time, and if something doesn´t happen soon, not only he will be defeated, but Michelle will stay a dumb, wild and violent creature only outwardly resembling a human being.....

"Come into the light."

Black has a story as powerful as you can only wish. It is sad, and yet it leaves one with a feeling of something beautiful. It is a film that gives you something, enriches you. And it proves again, that no matter how spectacular and captivating the visuals are, what matters most in the end is the story. Yes, yet again Bhansali presents us with a stunning world full of unrealistic beauty. It is much more subtle then spectacular Devdas and is free of any blue extravagance of Saawariya, but still it pleases the eye and the visuals, sometimes even reminding medieval Gothic style, are as much part of the narrative as the characters. In Bhansali´s world everything finds its place and only all that together can create the final picture. A question where and when is this story taking place might cross your mind, because one cannot really tell from just looking, but in the end it is irrelevant – because even knowing when and where does not hold any importance to the story itself.

Rani in her life role.

Emotions are real. Anger is not over the top even at its utmost, love does not need to be put into words, and tears that he brings into your eyes are not a "duty" like in for example Chopra/Johar films. What I find incredible is how Bhansali exactly knows what the actors are capable of. He is a person who showed us brilliance of Aishwarya Rai, the intensity of Shahrukh Khan, the depth of Madhuri Dixit´s talent, he even made Sonam Kapoor act decently (!!!). And this time too he shows us the strength of Amitabh Bachchan and Rani´s unbounded versatility. These two actors, Rani in particular, made the film what it is. If there are any two actors, not paired as a romantic jodi, whose mutual interaction I absolutely love, it is Rani and Amitabh. The two of them almost seem to have some deep understanding, perfect timing, and in a strange way also intense chemistry. They are great to watch on their own, fascinating to watch together – be it here or even in such a mediocre flick like Baabul. 

My favourite non-romantic pairing.

All the other performances were nothing but amazing too. I was literally blown away by little Michelle played by Ayesha Kapoor, and when Rani continued to present the character after her, it was all so beautifully seamless one couldn´t help but wonder! Somewhere along the line I also couldn´t help but to compare the film with Bhansali´s yet latest movie Guzaarish (2010). The two definitely start with the same atmosphere. But where Guzaarish fails in charming the viewer, Black works magic. Where Ethan wants to die, Michelle unendingly searches for light.

Black is definitely a modern day classic.

Bunty aur Babli

Directed by: Shaad Ali
Starring: Rani Mukherjee, Abhishek Bachchan, Amitabh Bachchan
Released: 2005

Rakesh lives in a small city. Most of the time he spends daydreaming about his future career – and to his parent´s grief he does not aspire to become a ticket collector on train like his father. He wants to be successful and rich, a name everyone will know. His brain comes up with new bussiness plans and ideas of how to make money quickly and effectively. As of now he would like to start a bussiness of letting people to take a shower (that by the way is on the roof of his house and visible from everywhere, but nobody seems to mind), but his dreams are big and bigger. And then his father gives him an ultimatum: to go to a job interview or to leave the house. Stubborn Rakesh chooses the latter.

Vimmi lives in a small city. She is a clever girl, very much in love with her own beauty. She too has big dreams – of becoming a successful model and Miss India. However her parents have quite different ideas and they arrange her marriage with a suitable boy. They are shocked, that the girl is not excited over the prospect of „eating, drinking, walking and sleeping according to her in-laws wishes“ and even more shocked when one day, to avoid the wedding and have her path to modelling clear, Vimmi simply runs away from home.

The only entertainment in the village is the ritual dance among the naked men.

Neither Vimmi nor Rakesh are successful on their own. After bumping into each other on a dark night (and an escort to a loo) Vimmi and Rakesh find out their dreams are similar. They decide to go together to Mumbai and there their dreams are going to become true for sure, right? In need of money for the journey, Vimmi and Rakesh con a businessman who previously stole one of Rakesh´ s schemes and made money presenting it to be his own. And since they are very much successful and they both find conning really amusing, they continue to earn like that. Under the nicknames Bunty and Babli they steal from the rich and what they don´t need they give to the poor. Slipping easily into any avatar – be it the food inspectors, rich NRIs or local guides, they manage to pull of anything without getting into trouble. And once they reach Mumbai, they realize, they learned to love this exciting lifestyle, which also gives them both a lot of „fame“. Looting and stealing, deceiving and lying, they become the most notorious criminals of India. And what more – they fall in love with each other. But shadow is slowly creeping over their happiness. Because a certain ACP Dashrath Singh is following them like a hunting dog and the purpose of his life has practically became just to find them and put them behind bars. And he will go to any lenghts to do so...

Shed off your clothes and take a nice, cold shower for only 5 rupees per minute!

In a way I was scared it was going to be one of those done-to-death „follow your dream“ films, but I was proved wrong. The story (definitely not without a reason) reminds one of the famous american gangster jodi Bonnie and Clyde, however Bunty aur Babli lack any possible dark or drastic moments. Stealing for Bunty and Babli is something exciting and it provides adrenalin, but there is not one second when you could possibly imagine them killing someone. The story is actually not the main strength of the film. What makes it worth watching are the performances from all three main leads. I was never crazy about Abhishek Bachchan and I still find him rather uninteresting and not-overload of talent. He is usually not capable of becoming a character that he doesn´t primarily understand, but Bunty is definitely his forte. Fun-loving, ambitious and...well.... young a heart he delivers a very good performance (except for some dancing.... but more on that later). Rani Mukherjee is just perfect. Vivacious and bit spoilt, confident and strong-willed, she gets your love as soon as you set your eyes upon her. In fact, Abhishek plays second fidle to her, but they both brilliantly compliment each other, plus their chemistry is undeniable. Amitabh Bachchan is …... cool I believe is the word here. And he gets all the attention as soon as he is in the frame. But then – what else is new?

The film (that I would easily recommend as a whole family watch) has a tremendous repeat value. There is nothing particularly GREAT in the way the story is told, nothing that would really stuck in your mind, and so you don´t get bored watching it again. What does stay in mind however is the soundtrack, that is simply superb. Energetic Dhadak Dhadak gets you dancing, Chup Chup Ke weaves romantic magic. Those two are probably the best tracks. Then there is of course the oh-so-famous Kajra Re, which is always better watched then listened to. Vaibhavi Merchant´s choreography has made history and Aishwarya Rai got fair ammount of attention during this short appearance of hers. True, seeing her making eyes on Amitabh is a little weird knowing he would actually become her father-in-law, but it doesn´t ruin the song´s appeal. Another big dance number is Nach Baliye, and here the dancing is somehow.... bad. The choreography has some good moments (like the „wave“ Rani creates being lifted by the dancers at one point) and the female part of Bunty aur Babli shakes the leg with an obvious pleasure, but Abhishek on the dance floor is like a lamb lost in the woods.

So if you want to know how to sell a national monument or loot a market center, hit the play button of Bunty aur Babli.

There is DEFINITELY something wrong with this picture...

No one killed Jessica

Director: Raj Kumar Gupta

Starring: Vidya Balan, Rani Mukherjee, Myra Karn

Released: 2011

Possibly the most awaited film of the beggining of 2011 released on 7^th January and it is rather non-bollywood-ish in the sense you will not find here any lovesick jodis running around the trees. But the sky high expectations do not really work here. It is a good attempt to make a different, and as possibly some cynical people might call more „real“ cinema, that sadly could have been better. No, in fact – it deserved and should have been better because of many reasons. Let´s get to the story first though.

In the night of 29^th April 1999 somewhere in Delhi Sabrina Lall, a rather dull, boring and more then ordinary girl, is woken up by a telephone call announcing her sister Jessica has just been shot. Sabrina hurriedly makes her way to the hospital, but thre is nothing she or doctors can do. Jessica dies as a result of her injury. The shaken family can now only ask „how“. Turns out Jessica, who used to make some extra money as a barmaid in a prominent disco club, was shot by one of three young men, to whom she refused to give drinks, because there were none left. The three did not want to hear that and after a heated argument one of them pointed a gun at Jessica and pulled the trigger. Seemingly a very simple, saddening case. There were over 300 people present in the club, the killer was detained almost immediately and so was the gun. What a shock it is then for Sabrina and her parents, when almost all the witnesses claim they were not there! And even more painful is a sudden change in the behaviour of Jessica´s friends, who are affraid and not willing to give any clear testimony.

Sabrina - art of being a grey mouse

Why? Well, the accused killer is none other then Manu Sharma, son of a rich and influential politician, who has no trouble saying that if his son is not innocent, he will be. And so the un-ending carrousel of lies, interrogation, manipulation, bribing and threats start to spin and does not stop for the next seven years. And finally in 2006 Manu is declared innocent, because there were not enough proofs. Sabrina, who has been fighting for justice for such a long time already, is spent and exhausted. And when her mother dies and father falls ill, she does not want to fight anymore. Unknown to her at first a much stronger and fierce fighter has appeared though. Successful journalist Meera, who once refused to invest her time into the case, because it seemed so trivial and simple, finds out after seven years that „No one killed Jessica“ and her sense of justice raises like a storm...

You all shall hate this guy..... And he´s not even the killer!

As you can see, it is truly a story with potential – and even more so when you know it is based on a real event. So it is somehow sad to add that the script is not at all that amazing. The film starts on a catchy note (with some really inovative and interestingly done opening titles) and grabs your attention immediately, bringing to you a rather turbulent and disturbing story of Jessica´s dying. However after first 30 minutes the tempo of the film slows down very much as we reach the judicial court. Only after an hour the true heroine (and maybe we could even say „hero“) of the film takes her rightful place. Rani Mukherjee as Meera is incredibly charismatic, oozing unboud energy and completely makes the rest of the footage hers. Vidya Balan as Sabrina gives a solid performance, but can come off as rather indifferent and apathical at times. There is nothing memorable about her. Unfortunatelly neither Sabrina nor Meera are flawlessly portraited characters. One understands that Meera is an independent and really brash woman with a vocabulary that could easily put every agressive drunkard to shame, but why is she like that, who is she really you never get to know. It would have been nice if she was actually given some background, but that does not happen. Sabrina looses her realistic feel in the moment when she declares she is too tired to fight anymore, because you cannot make a single difference between her at the beggining of the case and after it is ended. I don´t think the actresses are to be blamed though, let´s blame the script.

You don´t, really don´t want to make her angry. Unless, of course,  you want to enrich your swearing vocabulary.

The script also fails in the second part. How come that as soon as Rani decides to do something, she manages exactly what she wanted without a slightest problem? I was waiting for some twist, some trouble to arise, but nothing came. Obviously the politicians who put so much effort and money into bribing and threatening are not that bothered as Meera reveals their manipulative tricks and destroys their reputation. It is also somehow puzzling that Meera starts her own investigation without informing or even asking Jessica´s family first.

It is not a film that would deserve to be called a classic and a message that maybe not all is right in the state of India has been presented with much more conviction and insight in other films. Plus points to „No one killed Jessica“ go because of excellent Rani and an attempt of depicting an event that has caused so much controversy not that long ago. And then of course there is a brilliant soundtrack by Amit Trivedi. His „Dilli“ is going to play in your ears for a long time after watching...