When your favourites disappoint

They say you only are a true fan if you are willing to suffer through your favourite´s god-damn-awful filmography. Bad films happen. To everybody from Dilip Kumar to Akshay Kumar. Sometimes they are not even really that bad, but somehow disappointing and weak. Some of such films of some of my favourite actors to follow.

Jodi Breakers

Directed by: Ashwini Chaudhary

Starring: Madhavan, Bipasha Basu, Omi Vaidya

Released: 2012

I tried to watch the film before, but turned it off after first 15 or so minutes, but then I told myself I may not want to be as harsh, after all Madhavan is my teddy-bear. Sadly his presence doesn´t save the film, and the character he plays is actually one of the most annoying loosers I´ve seen on screen. Bipasha is way too unbelievable with her innocent act and the two have no chemistry. The film has one of the dumbest twists (and resolves) ever. So he destroys somebody else´s marriage so his ex-wife can get a rich new husband and he gets his car back? Really? And I am supposed to root for this person? And frankly I didn´t see s single reason what would Sid need Sonali as his partner anyway, thus even the basic plot doesn´t really make sense. To top it all Omi Vadiya was completely annoying as a sex God from the high heavens. In one word: lame. Why was Helen in this?

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Paa

Directed by: R. Balki

Starring: Amitabh Bachchan, Vidya Balan, Abhishek Bachchan

Released: 2009

I guess some films are just overrated. After having a shock from rather awkward subtitles narrated for whatever reason by Jaya Bachchan, I was kept waiting .... and waiting for the awesomeness praised by the critics to appear, but it never did. The story deals with a very sad issue of progeria, a rare disease causing the body to age before its time – and that very rapidly. The main character, a twelve years old boy Auro, suffering from the condition, actually has a body of an 80 year old. And what more – he doesn´t have a father. Or rather, doesn´t know him. After all this father did not want a child and only because Auro´s mother refused to go for an abortion and left her partner was the child born. The fate however brings the family together again. Everybody in the film does an OK job. From Abhishek to Amitabh, who did not really understand what age he is trying to act. Instead of a 12 years old his handling of the character made Auro seem like barely 7 years old boy. He did well, don´t get me wrong, but nothing overly impressive. I had the same problem with Sridevi in Sadma, where she is supposed to act like 7 years old, but instead gives an impression of a four-year-old, and that does a hell lot of a difference. Vidya is the best of the lot, but is criminally deprived of deserved screen time by the male protagonists. If anything the movie should have been named Maa, because what I took from the film was really the assurance that love of a mother is above everything.

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Bhootnath

Directed by: Vivek B. Sharma

Starring: Amitabh Bachchan, Aman Siddiqui, Juhi Chawla, Shahrukh Khan

Released: 2008

Not one, but two favourites included – Shahrukh and Juhi – and yet... oh Mr. Sharma this is a perfect example of wasting great acting talent. When you have actors like this you don´t give all the screentime to a kid. Bhootnath is a fine film for children, but far from a great piece of cinema the director presents it till this day.

Shahrukh, the freakingly handsome in his white uniform sea cruise captain moves his wife and son into a new house, not caring everybody says it is haunted. He promptly leaves and his wife invests all her time to attempts to make the new living space more comfortable, while their son soon discovers the house is indeed haunted by a grumpy and dirty old ghost. In no time, they become friends. There are way too many question concerning the ghost (sometimes he can´t touch things, sometimes he can, he apparently eats and can shave and wash..... way too many supernatural powers for one sad soul if you ask me, and pretty much defying everything one would imagine when it comes to ghosts), but I guess children wouldn´t really mind. However the kids should not be too demanding. There is nothing scary or hilarious about the story and the situations shown. See, I don´t even know what else to write. Watch and forget movie.

Players

Directed by: Abbas-Mustan

Starring: Abhishek Bachchan, Sonam Kapoor, Bipasha Basu, Neil Nitin Mukesh, Omi Vaidya, Bobby Deol, Sikander Kher, Vinod Khanna

Released: 2012

How can you take seriously somebody named Charlie Mascarenhas as a mastermind high-class, next-to-supernatural-hero thief? Even more so when he is played by Abhishek Bachchan (who just never learns)? Players (or by a more precise title „Thiefs“) was supposed to be a rocking action packed multi-starrer, but maybe it would have been better if the film was called off once people like Priyanka Chopra and Kareena Kapoor decided to say no to it, because frankly, though the cast is full of known names, none of them really sells on their own.

The „player“ Charlie with his awesome and genius mind, finds his way to super secret information about a transport of a huge amount of gold from Russia to Romania, which immediately becomes his next goal. However he´s not naive enough to think he can pull such a robbery off by himself, and so after a consultation with the best of the best players (read „thieves“), the aging and jailed Victor Dada (Vinod Khanna) he puts together a team of the best thieves with different abilities. His romantic interest Rhea (sexy but somehow boring and unpleasant Bipasha Basu) is to be useful in getting information out of certain men, then there are a master-disguiser Sunny (Omi Vaidya), explosives expert Bilal (Sikander Kher), a magician (Bobby Deol) and a hacker Spider (Neil Nitin Mukesh). And of course the super cool Charlie. However soon after actually pulling off the robbery Charlie finds out someone may have outsmarted him.... and there will be a hell to pay.

"Wait. Somebody stole my wallet. Call the police!"

What kills Players are weak and unimpressive performances, artificial dialogues and in spite of some good twist and turns a considerable level of predictability (though the last may be just my problem, I always happen to know the bad guys from the start, don´t ask me how). I actually really liked the first half, as most of the bad acting and questionable script was compensated by a well made action sequence and nice speed that did not give one too much time to analyze. However after the interval it all slowed down and somehow lost purpose and whatever thrill there was left.

We are sitting in the middle of Siberia and whole Russia is looking for us...

...so let´s drink champagne from fancy glasses we did not forget to pack.

Abhishek is someone I never minded, but I still maintain what I´ve been saying for the past year - he needs to STOP acting cool guys with brilliant minds, because he just doesn´t deliver. Perhaps now after Player, Game and Dum Maro Dum flopped he will get the message? Unfortunatelly for him I think it is too late for him to reinvent himself (hoping to be proved wrong). Sonam has definitely improved, she does not make me cringe everytime she opens her mouth anymore, however she disappoints when it comes to anything emotional. There was NO difference in her expression whether she was flirting with Abhishek, casually serving food or wathching her father being shot. Bipasha is someone whom I fail to like, she just doesn´t pick good roles and just like with Abhishek it seems she is only good for one type of roles AKA we´ve seen it all before. Neil is by far the best, however still far from being impressive. All the actors (ironically with the exception of Johny Lever) give you the impression they totally do not care about anything, least of all about acting. 

Let´s lay down the wreaths and bury this film in some dark corner of our minds.